Hurt
by I Forget
Summary: Pride demands that all debts be paid. When a moment of compassion leaves a village indebted to Clarke, Lexa takes it upon herself to pay it.
1. Chapter 1

_You can have it all._

_My empire of dirt._

_I will let you down._

_I will make you hurt._

_\- _Johnny Cash, Hurt.

Clarke woke with a gasp, air forced from her lungs upon the impact with the packed earth of the prison cell. She looked around in the dim light, trying to gain her bearings. She blinked, stunned to see that the former Chancellors Jaha and Kane were in the cell with her, staring at her, shocked expressions matching hers. "What are you doing here?" They all asked at once.

Jaha answered first. "I landed in the dead zone and was found by a family on a pilgrimage to a place called The City of Light. They traded me for a horse, and now I'm here. Apparently there's a bounty on our heads." He said, raising an inquiring eyebrow.

"You're lucky. When we first landed it was shoot on sight." Clarke said wryly. "What happened Kane? Peace talk not go according to plan?"

He chuckled softly. "I was knocked out and thrown down here before it even began."

"What about you? What are you doing down here?" Jaha asked her.

Clarke shrugged, then winced, rubbing her shoulder. "I went for a walk."

"A walk?" Jaha asked, clearly finding that hard to believe.

Clarke nodded. "Yup, a walk." They didn't need to know the rest. How she had run like a coward after Bellamy, Octavia, Murphy, and Finn stopped for a brief rest, roasting a pair of thinly sliced rabbits over the fire. How the smell of the roasting meat made her stomach turn, made her remember... She forced the memories back, using the pain to ground herself in the present.

Kane had noticed her wincing. "What happened to your shoulder? Any other injuries?"

Clarke paused a moment, taking stock of her injuries and trying to recall how she received them. "Um... I think I hurt my shoulder and ankle when I tripped over a root. My ribs and head are curtesy of the Grounders. Nothing major."

Kane nodded, accepting the explanation.

They all looked to the door when it opened, Kane alone rising to his feet to greet the group of Grounders. _Like he were an honoured guest instead of a prisoner. _Clarke thought wryly.

The Commander and his guards were all men, Clarke noted, though the slave was a woman. She questioned this in the back of her mind, Anya and Tris flashing in her memories. _Was she captured from a different tribe? _She wondered. She noted that while the girl was thin, she was not starved, nor did her body show any signs of having been mistreated.

The Commander narrowed his eyes at her and Jaha while two guards stepped past him to force them to their feet. Clarke cried out involuntarily when the man pulled her up by her injured arm, her shoulder alight in a blaze of agony. He released her and she stumbled, falling back to the ground on one knee when her ankle refused to support her. She clutched her shoulder, seeing stars as she braced herself for the blow she knew was coming. She fell to her side as the grounder struck her head, curled into a ball when his foot connected with her stomach.

Dimly she could hear Kane begging the Commander to make him stop, that she was injured and meant for no disrespect. The Commander barked an order, and much to Clarke's amazement, the beating stopped. She coughed and gasped for breath, one hand wrapped protectively around her stomach, the other clenched over her racing heart.

The conversation was over before she could hear, the door closing behind the men, the slave girl the only grounder remaining. She took in her surroundings, hoping to piece together what had happened. Kane and Jaha were speaking too quietly for her to hear, the slave girl was seated as far from them as possible. For the moment Clarke's presence was ignored, so she watched. Her eyes widened when Kane picked up a knife. _Where did that come from? _And she gasped when she heard him beg Jaha to inflict his death. _No! _He turned the blade on himself and Jaha finally moved, tossing the knife aside, begging the slave girl for something to stop the bleeding.

Clarke started to rise, then winced at the pain in her stomache. The blade wasn't far from her. Ignoring the pain as much as she could, she stretched out her arm and grasped the blade, pulling it close to her body without anyone noticing. She pushed herself up and, using her uninjured arm and leg, half crawled and half dragged herself over to the wall. Panting from the effort, she used the wall for support as she forced herself to rise to one knee, then her feet, hissing slightly at the pain. She saw Jaha move to grab the girl.

"No!" She yelled. Unexpected, her voice stopped the man in his tracks. All eyes were on her as she revealed the blade, pressing its edge to her bicep. "You know who my mother is, trust me when I say that this is a vital spot. One cut here and I will be dead in eight seconds. Now back off!"

"Clarke..." Jaha turned as though to go to her, reaching out.

"Back. Off." She bit out, applying just enough pressure to make herself bleed. "I am not bluffing!"

Kane stepped forward and grabbed Jaha, pulling him to the wall farthest from the grounder. He looked at Clarke and nodded, eyes shining with concern for her and the promise to restrain Jaha. "Alright, we'll stay over here. Just don't do anything reckless, alright?"

_Threatening suicide isn't reckless? _Clarke wondered, then looked at his arm. It had mostly stopped bleeding, he hadn't cut anything vital. _I guess not. _She nodded, lowering the blade. She remained alert, ready to raise it again should Jaha misbehave, as she limped over to the slave girl along the wall. "Don't worry," she said wryly when the girl started to tense, "the blade is for my skin alone. You can hold it if that would make you more comfortable, but the guys may do something moronic if they see it."

"What do you want, Sky Girl?" The slave said gruffly.

Clarke was directly infront of her now. She smiled in what she hoped was a non threatening way. "Do you mind if I sit down? I'd prefer not to talk down to you, and honestly... My ankle hurts like a bitch."

The slave girl narrowed her eyes at her, searching her eyes and reading her body for any sign that the girl intended her harm. Seeing none, she nodded.

Clarke sighed as she slid down the wall, stretching her wounded leg out before her, being mindful to keep the weapon in the slaves sight the whole time. "Thanks."

"What is it that you want?" The slave demanded, glaring at Clarke hatefully.

Clarke accepted the hatred, letting it wash over her heart like a rock at high tide. "Your Commander. Can you give him a message for me?"

The girl thought for a moment, then nodded.

"Around the halfway point between the drop ship and camp Jaha, there's a bunker next to a river, located between two trees. The entrance is hidden behind a boulder. There's a group of children there, your people. I found them while running from the acid fog. I don't know what happened, but their caretaker was missing, and they were hurt and afraid. I took them to the bunker with me and treated their injuries as best as I could. They have enough food and water for three days.

Can your Commander send some people to get them? Women, maybe? I don't know what happened to them but they're too scared to leave."

The girl had lost her glare. Hatred changed to puzzlement as she regarded the girl from the sky. "Is that all?"

Clarke considered telling her more, about the Mountain Men and the cages, the Reapers. But she held it back, concerned that the children would be forgotten. Bellamy, Murphy, and Octavia knew what she knew, and she had given them the map. She herself was not needed. _Not needed. _The relief at the simple fact was a balm to her soul. "Your Commander said that blood demands blood, right? To answer for the massacre at Tondc?"

The slave nodded.

Clarke smiled sadly, eyes shining with unshed tears, and resigned acceptance. "Tell him... Tell the Commander that the massacre was my fault... I tried to stop him, but I wasn't fast enough. Let my blood pay the price for his sin. Kane and Jaha are good men. Let there be peace." And with that, she turned the blade on herself, plunging it down to the artery by her groin.

She was fast. The slave girl was faster. Clarke blinked stupidly as the blade was knocked from her hand, leaving a shallow gash in place of a life threatening wound. "What...?"

The slave was on her feet, dagger in hand, calling for the guards. The Commander and a half dozen warriors entered the room, looking only at her as she spoke to them in their secret language. They bowed to her respectfully and she turned her back to them, allowing them to don her armour.

Kane realized it first. "You're the Commander."

Clarke closed her eyes, resting her head against the wall. _Shit._

"You are an honourable man, your desire for peace is true. You can go free." She turned to look at Jaha. "You will deliver a message."

Three guards stepped around her, one restrained Kane, the other two began beating Jaha. Clarke felt little sympathy for him. This was the man who had killed her father, had sent one hundred youths to the ground with nothing to defend themselves, had attempted to harm an unarmed girl. _Woman. _She amended. The beating stopped and his limp body was dragged from the room.

She said something to the guard holding Kane. He grunted, acknowledging the order, and began pulling Kane from the room. "Wait, what do you intend to do to Clarke? She's just a kid! She's innocent."

The Commander snorted. "Hardly."

Clarke was inclined to agree. "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

"You better be. Your mother will kill me a thousand times if you die."

Clarke smirked a little. Knowing her mother, she would probably find a way to do it too. "True."

Kane vanished through the door, the other guards leaving behind him until only she and the Commander were left. She didn't rise when the Commander approached her, the fading adrenaline from earlier leaving her too weak and shaky to attempt it. She looked up when the Commander stopped at her feet. "Why did you stop me?" She asked.

The Commander didn't answer. Instead she pulled a clean strip of cloth from a pouch at her waist and dropped it on Clarke's lap. She then left, the door clanging shut behind her, leaving Clarke alone.


	2. Chapter 2

Clarke sighed. _I'm so damn tired... But I really should dress that. The last thing I need is an infection. _She wrapped her wound and looked up, startled, as the door was opened. A man entered, excessively huge muscles highlighted by the light of the torch he carried. _What's up with that anyway? All the grounder men are stupid big, like body builder big. I wonder if they compete? _She mused, imagining grounder warriors clad in sequened thongs comparing well oiled muscles for the commander's entertainment. She smirked, amused by the image, but quickly masked it as he approached.

The warrior stopped beside her. "The Commander says that you are to be fed. She will look for the children you spoke of personally. Their fate will determine yours." A plate was thrusted at her, hovering just above her nose. "Eat."

"Thank you." She said automatically, taking the plate. The guard grunted, dropping a flask by her side. He then stepped back a pace to watch her. "...you're watching me eat?"

"Anything, even a plate, can be a weapon. Eat. I'll take the plate when you're done."

"Oh..." Clarke said softly. She looked down at the plate, her stomach churning at the strips of roasted meat sitting there. _Wonderful. _She took the meat and held up the empty plate. "Fair enough?"

He took the plate and left, not saying a word.

She looked down at the meat. _No way am I eating that. But what can I do with it? They'd be offended if I threw it away... _A whimper followed by some dirt falling in a beam of light provided her answer. Slowly, she pulled herself to her feet and painfully limped over to the barred drop hole overhead. A stray dog, barely more than a pup, stared hungrily down at her. _Well that's convenient._ She smiled softly. "Hey... You hungry? Here."

She tossed one of the meaty strips up to the dog. He caught it and gulped it down greedily. He ate every piece and stared down at her. "Sorry boy, that's it."

She limped back to her spot against the wall and resumed her former position. It was a good spot, the ground was smooth and heat radiated from the rock wall. Clarke wondered idly if there was a stove on the other side for the guards. She picked up the flask and took a cautious sip, then a longer drink as the cool water eased her thirst. Her stomach threatened rebellion and she winced, closing the flask and setting it aside for later.

It was a long wait. Hours passed in silence, Clarke passing in and out of consciousness as she lay still, trying to conserve her strength. A second meal of roasted meat was brought to her, this time with a small loaf of hard bread and cheese. _I really need to eat something. _She knew this, common sense and medical training both agreeing that the single ration pack she had had for breakfast yesterday had been digested long ago. She recognized the hollow feeling and weakness and knew, intellectually, that food would help.

She eyed the meat. _No, not that. Definitely not that. _And focused on the bread and cheese instead. The cheese was dry and crumbled into her lap as she ate it between sips from her flask. The bread was hard and dry. She softened it with some water and ate every last crumb. The food revived her, filling her with new energy and chasing the hollow feeling away. She looked at the meat again. Her stomach constricted at the sight and she shoved it aside, swallowing bile. The dog returned, much to her relief, and was well fed.

Clarke tried to pass some of the time drawing, but as had happened in the Mountain, she found herself staring at nothing. Before, up in space, she drew what she dreamed. A rich green earth ready for new life. Now when she closed her eyes all she had were nightmares, and the nightmares didn't go away when she woke either. She didn't have dreams anymore.

She tried focusing on drawing people, faces of her friends and family. Charolette stared back her. Guilt gnawed at her and she wiped the image away, starting again, then again, as more faces of the dead stared back at her. Wells, Atom, Roma, Tris, Anya... Finn was next. He was alive, but she didn't want to see his face either, didn't want to remember the slaughter that had happened in his search for her. Angrily she wiped that image away too and tried again.

The Commander stared back at her. Even as a drawing in the dirt she was beautiful. And mysterious. _Why did she save me? _


	3. Chapter 3

The sun had begun to set when the door was opened next. Six guards walked in, four carrying torches. One of them was a woman, dark skinned, with a tattoo on the right side of her face. She stepped forward. "I was one who went with the Commander. Your words proved true. She sent me ahead to prepare you for their arrival." She sneered, looking down at Clarke with thinly veiled hate. "The children are concerned for your well being. They would not leave until the Commander promised them they could see you. Get up. You are to be bathed, given clean clothes, and are to wait for their arrival in the Commanders tent."

Clarke bit her lip and slowly rose to her feet. She limped behind the woman as quickly as she could. To her credit, the woman knew she was injured and set a slow pace, allowing Clarke to keep up. They walked in a cluster. Two torch bearers walked before them, one walked on either side. The woman a pace infront of Clarke and the non torch bearer a pace behind. She led Clarke out of the cell, Clarke noting that she had been right about the stove. Clarke followed her from the dungeon, across the camp, and into an area ringed by high bushes. The guards spread out, placing the torches into scones around the ring. Steam rose from the pool in the centre. A hot spring.

The woman turned to Clarke. "Strip." She commanded.

Clarke blinked. "Excuse me?" She said, taken aback.

"The Commander said that you are to bathe. Now strip." The woman folded her arms, clearly expecting to be obeyed.

Clarke looked around at all the guards, watching her. A hot blush burned from every cell in her body. "Um." She said intelligently.

The woman rolled her eyes. "Oh for Maidens sake." She cursed. She looked over at the guards. "Turn around. The little sky princess is shy, give her privacy. Let's get this farce over with."

The males all turned their backs to them, eyes glinting with amusement at the sky girls expense. The woman raised an eyebrow. "Well?"

Clarke blushed again, realizing that the woman was still going to watch, and turned so her back was to her. She removed the bandage from her leg first, then her jacket. She looked down at her boots and grimaced. There was nothing for her to hold on to, so she sat, removing them with her butt on the ground. Her pants and underwear followed. She struggled back to her feet, carefully keeping her weight on her good foot. Her shirt fell to mid thigh, concealing her modesty as she limped over to the pool.

The woman was by her side before she could get in. "Do people not bathe naked where you come from?" She taunted.

Clarke blushed as the guards around them laughed. She pulled her arms through the sleeves of her shirt and reached behind her back, unclasping her bra. The undergarment fell to the ground. Clarke took in a steadying breath as she reached for the hem of her shirt with her uninjured arm and pulled it over her head, letting it fall to the ground. "Happy?" She asked dryly.

"Ecstatic." The woman said, sarcasm oozing over the word.

Clarke was surprised when the woman helped her to enter the pool. She only touched Clarke for as long as was required, but while it lasted the touch was almost... Gentle. She let her surprise show in her eyes as she looked up at the woman. "Thank you."

The woman noted the surprise and straightened, expression neutral. "Heaven forbid the princess drown taking a bath. The Commander would have my head. If she didn't laugh hers off first."

Clarke flushed again, silently damning her fair skin as she turned to glare at the water. She then spluttered, gasping from shock and choking on water as a bucket of it was dumped over her head. She turned, glaring up at the smirking warrior above her.

She raised a mocking eyebrow. "Baths are for cleaning, not relaxing." A rag was dropped on Clarke's head, and a bar of scented soap thrusted under her nose. "You do know how to clean yourself, yes?"

Clarke glared at her as she took the soap, and pulled the rag from her head. She scrubbed herself quickly, but gently, mindful of her injuries. She winced when she got to her hair. Her shoulder protested when she reached up to scrub it, the bump where the Grounder had struck her earlier throbbing in time with her shoulder. Strong hands stopped her. She looked up at the brown woman in inquiry.

"Cleanliness is important, but there is no sense in aggrivating your injuries. It will do the children no good if they see you've come to harm. Allow me to assist you."

Clarke strongly suspected that she resembled a stunned ox. She closed her mouth with an audible click and nodded, turning her back to the woman. She bit back a groan as strong fingers combed through her hair, massaging the soap into her scalp. Clarke wished she knew how to describe the scent. Delicately floral, but with a hint of something else.

"Why did you not mention that you had dislocated your shoulder?" She asked as she worked the soap into a lather.

"Partially dislocated." Clarke corrected absently. "It's not that bad. The children were more important."

Unseen, the woman nodded, satisfied with the answer. "I will set it for you after you are clean."

"Thank you, but why...?" Clarke left the question unfinished, not wanting to aggravate the woman.

"For the children, seeing that you have been treated well will put them at ease. It also pays part of their debt. You fed them, we feed you. You treated their injuries, so I will treat yours. You cleaned them, clothed them, so now we do so for you. We will not have our children be indebted to _branwada._"

Clarke didn't know what _branwada_ meant, but she highly doubted it was a compliment. She accepted the insult, once again allowing the hatred to slide over her. _I can't blame them for hating me, not after what I've done. Not after Finn... _She shoved the thought aside, forcing her mind to focus on the present. "Oh."

The woman rinsed her hair and began scrubbing it again. "Your hair is filthy, as if it hasn't been properly washed in weeks." She scolded, scowling as she worked.

Clarke grimaced at the reminder. She had showered at Mount Weather, but then had come the river... And the mud... There had been a bucket of hot water to clean up with at Camp Jaha, but that had been days ago. "Don't remind me." She groaned.

The hands stilled. "You're joking."

Clarke shook her head slightly.

"When...?"

Clarke thought about it. "Depends... Does a bucket of hot water count?"

There was a pause, then the hands continued their motions. "You're not joking. No wonder you paused earlier. Cleanliness must be a shock to your system."

Clarke opened her mouth to object to the jab, then paused, thinking about it. "...true."

Her hair was rinsed, then scrubbed a third time before the woman was satisfied. She was given a small cloth pouch which she was instructed to soak in the water, crush, and scrub her teeth with. She did so, peppermint and rosemary freshening her breath as the cloths roughness cleaned her teeth. She was helped out of the pool and given a rag to dry herself with. She was startled to see that her clothes were missing, everything from her boots to her undergarments. "Um."

Her guard and helper noticed her confusion. "Your garments are filthy. They stink. They will be left in the river overnight and hung to dry in the morning. You are to wear these for now." She pointed to a pile of clothes that had been left on a rock close to a torch. "But first, your arm."

Clarke tried not to brace herself, keeping her breathing steady. She stared into the flame of a torch and let it lull her into a light trance. She grunted as her guard forced the bone back into place, rotating her arm with a grimace to determine that it had been set right. "Thanks. I think."

"You're welcome." The words were dryer than cheese.

Clarke limped over to the pile of clothing. She picked up the bra, then paused as the woman handed her a pouch. She took it and saw it held a fine white powder within. She looked up at the woman, head tilted in question.

"It is rock salt infused with lavender oil. Rub it under your arms."

"Oh. Thank you." Clarke did as she was told, then closed the pouch and moved to give it back to the Grounder.

The Grounder raised a hand, refusing to take it. "It is a gift. The Commander insisted."

_For her or for me? _Clarke wondered, bemused, finally putting on the bra. She rebandged her thigh, then picked up the panties and sighed, looking for a spot that wasn't too dirty so she could sit down. A hand at her arm stopped her.

"There is little point in getting clean if you are just going to get dirty again. I will assist you."

Clark hesitated.

"There is no shame in accepting help when it is needed." The warrior assured.

That decided her. "Thank you." She said. She held on to the woman's forearm for support as she stepped into the underwear, looking up at the clouds, blue in the twilight, as the woman bent to pull them up. Then she repeated the process with the pants.

Clarke strongly suspected that the pants had been scavenged from the drop ship, but held her tongue. They were blue skinny jeans which she favoured, and were incredibly comfortable. Form fitting, but loose enough to allow for movement. A loose grey shirt was next, long sleeves almost as form fitting as the pants, followed by a long black leather vest which covered her to mid thigh. The clothing fit like it had been made for her. Idly she commented on this as her guard indicated for her to sit on the stone.

"You could say they were." She said as she wrapped a bandage around Clarke's injured foot, giving it some support. She then pulled a pair of soft socks on to Clarke's feet. "They were made for a girl very close in size to you. Then she started training as a warrior and they no longer fit."

_Did she just imply that I'm fat? _Clarke wondered, but held her silence.

Durable black leather boots followed. The woman reached into a pouch at her waist and withdrew a wide toothed comb carved from wood. Flowers and vines had been carved on the grip. "You can keep this as well. I no longer have any need for it."

Clarke sighed, wincing slightly as the woman efficiently combed her hair. She took a lock of Clarke's hair and separated it into three smaller sides, weaving them together until a single braid was hanging at one side of her face. She tied it off with a leather thong. A soft black leather headband was tied around Clarke's head, completing the look. Clarke fingered the braid.

"The braid marks you as a guest. It will put the children at ease." She said in answer to the implied question.

Clarke stood. The woman handed her a belt, a pouch similar to the one she had hung from it. Small rings lined the belt, small leather pouches hung from five of them.

Clarke raised an eyebrow. "Another gift?"

"On behalf of my village. The children insisted. All of us have this." She motioned to the smaller pouches. "The children picked these, each one has a gift from them that they felt would be useful." She smirked. "Don't worry, it is not all deodorant, though that had been their first choice."

She pointed at the first of the little pouches. "Bandages, herbs and cloth for your teeth, soap, powder that fights infection, and herbs for a tea which will help brake fever." She explained, pointing to each pouch in turn. "They put a lot of thought into it."

Upon hearing that it had come from the children who had briefly been in her care, Clarke accepted the gift. She had only known them for hours, barely a day, but the gift touched her. She put it on so the large pouch hung at her side and the woman showed her how to tie the pouches to the rings in such a way that they would be secure, but accessible in a hurry. Clarke learned quickly, tying the bag of scented salt to a ring and putting the comb in the pouch.

The woman stepped back to look at her. "You're no warrior, but you'll do. Come."


	4. Chapter 4

Clarke was led out of the ring of bushes and across the camp again, this time being led to the largest tent in the centre of the camp. Two men guarded the entrance, one of them lifted the flap at their approach. Clarke ducked inside and blinked, the interior was surprisingly well lit. Lanterns hung from every pole around the tent. The Commander sat on a throne of antlers, and seated on the floor around her feet were five very familiar children.

They all looked at her at once. Then the children emitted an excited squeal and leaped to their feet, surrounding Clarke and greeting her like a litter of hyper active pups. Clarke blinked in bemusement, not understanding a word they were saying, though she was glad to see them. The hard knot of anxiety eased in her chest, relaxing a tightness that she hadn't realized was there.

IlIlIlIlIlIlIlI

Lexa watched as Indra walked across the room, unnoticed by the sky girl, to speak with her Commander.

"You're late." Lexa chastened her.

Indra stood straight, shoulders back, angling her body so as to be able to observe the sky girls interactions with the children. "She carries her injuries well, but the fact remains that she is injured. Progress was slow."

"A sprained ankle is hardly an immobilizing injury." Lexa mocked.

Indra cast her a disproving look. "No, it is not. However, a sprained ankle, a partially dislocated shoulder, bruised torso, bruised ribs, and a goose egg by her temple, collectively I remind you, are. I thought you said she hadn't been beaten?"

Surprise flashed in Lexa's eyes briefly as she looked at the girl. "She took a backhanded blow across the face and a kick to the gut, that's all. She must have received the rest earlier."

Indra hmmed. "How did she come to be here?"

"Augustus brought her in. Said he found her walking in the woods."

"Alone?" Indra was surprised by this. Sky People always travelled in groups, finding safety in numbers. And guns. "Unarmed?"

Lexa nodded. "It seems it was her goal to get captured so as to help the children. Her compassion for them is admirable."

Indra scoffed. "It was foolish. Her heart is bigger than her brain."

"I wonder..." Lexa mused_. _

Indra glanced at her Commander and raised an eyebrow.

Lexa chose to ignore the implied question. "Have you treated her injuries?"

"Yes, Heda." Indra answered, returning her attention to the girl in question. "Sky Girl has been fed, cleansed-you owe me for that one, by the way. I've seen pigs that were cleaner!-provided with clean clothes, and given the gifts of gratitude owed to her. The debt is paid."

Lexa shook her head slightly, eyes focused on the girl. "Not completely. The children's debt has been paid, but the debts of their parents and village have not. The debt of heart remains."

Indra cursed vehemently, careful to keep her voice low so as not to attract the children's attention. "I will not offer up a favour to _branwada!_"

"Then I will offer it up for you. The debt must be paid. To leave it as is would dishonour our people." Lexa said, voice allowing for no disagreement.

"You and your pride!" Indra scowled, secretly pleased with her Commander. She had taught her student well. For a moment she allowed herself to bask in her pride, though she was mindful to not let it show. _She has grown. Anya trained her well._

"My pride and the pride of our people are one. You know this. A debt left unpaid by them, even to an Outsider, reflects poorly on me. A commander who does not pay her debts is unworthy to lead her people." Lexa droned.

"Alright! Enough with the lecture!" Indra begged, lips twitching in an attempt to hide her amusement. She had given Lexa the same lecture years ago, when a much younger girl hadn't wanted to give up her favourite dagger to someone who had lost hers saving Lexa's life during a raid from a rival tribe.

_"But she'll lose it! She always loses her weapons." Lexa had complained._

_"That is not your concern. The debt however, is. A warrior must always pay their debts, leaders more so. Those who do not honour them are not fit to lead, as they bring dishonour to their village." Indra lectured._

_Lexa scowled. "But it's my favourite!"_

_Indra's eyes flashed in annoyance as she cuffed the girl. The girl took the blow, glaring at her sullenly as Indra finished her lecture. "I care not! Pay your debts Lexa. Do not lose your pride to a mere dagger!"_

_Lexa had given the girl her dagger and had been chosen as Anya's second soon after. _

_Costia had never lost the dagger._

Lexa nodded towards the prisoner turned guest. "Sky Girl is beginning to look overwhelmed, and it is late. The children should go to bed, you can unite them with their families tomorrow."

Indra smirked. "You wish for me to rescue the maiden in distress?"

Lexa's lips twitched in the barest hint of a smile as she nodded.

Indra sighed. "Only for you, Heda."

IlIlIlIlIlIlIlI

Clarke looked up as the brown woman from before approached them, speaking in the language she had yet to learn. The children giggled, lining up infront of Clarke from youngest to oldest. Or shortest to tallest, Clarke wasn't sure with the last two. The tallest _oldest? _Clarke wondered, stepped forward and spoke.

Her former guard translated. "They would like to thank you for helping them before, and are glad to see that you are well." Her lips twitched. "They also say that you smell much better now, and ask that you take care to smell like this always."

Clarke laughed at this. "Tell him that's the smell of warriors ready to do battle."

She obliged, then snorted as his response caused everyone who heard to laugh. "He says that that is not true. Warriors bathe."

The smallest child reached forward, touching the pouch at Clarke's hip. Clarke understood. She smiled warmly at the girl and nodded. The girl grinned, revealing dimpled cheeks and two missing front teeth, lowering her arm.

Clarke knelt down, reaching out to the girls bandaged arm. "Does it still hurt?" She asked gently.

The child understood the gesture even though she did not know the words and nodded. "Thank... You..." She said hesitantly, glancing at Indra to see if she got the words right. She grinned at her nod, then looked back at Clarke. "Thank you!" She said with more confidence.

Clarke smiled at her, then turned to the next child. She touched his leg, just above his knee. "And you?"

He bit his lip, then turned to speak to the scarred woman.

"He says that it is still sore, but is better than yesterday. The salve you gave him helped."

Clarke smiled warmly at him. "Good. I am glad you are well. All of you."

The third child, a girl, had a bruise and a small cut by her temple. Clarke had been worried for her more than the others, fearing a concussion. She paid careful attention to her as she too said her thanks, her worry easing as her Doctor Clarke questions were translated and answered by her former guard.

The last two boys stepped forward, Clarke belatedly realizing that they were twins, and spoke as one. "Thank you, Clarke of the Sky People, for helping us. Sorry we gave you a hard time before."

"You're welcome. I'm glad to see that you're ok." Clarke said, smiling. They had not been injured when she had found them, but they _had _been stubborn. Even with the acid fog approaching they had refused to follow her to safety, even going so far as to throw rocks at her. They had not followed her until she had picked up the semi-concious girl and ran for it. "Perhaps next time someone tries to help you, you won't be so quick to throw rocks at them." She teased.

They nodded solemnly after the brown woman translated. They replied, eyes betraying their mischief.

The brown woman snorted. She almost smiled as she translated. "They say that in the future, their aim will be much better. Only one rock."

Clarke laughed at this too. She received a hug from each child as they left, being shooed off to bed by the warrior turned babysitter. The other guards left with them, leaving her alone with the Commander.


	5. Chapter 5

Clarke swallowed nervously. For a moment, with the children there, she had been ok. Seeing their joy had distracted her from the situation she was in. Now, looking at the Commander toy with a dagger, everything came back to her in a rush. Her mind raced. _Shit. What should I say? Am I supposed to bow, kneel, fake a curtesy, or what? Do I speak first or am I supposed to wait for her? Crap. Did she just look at me? I think she just looked at me. Is that a cue for me to talk first? Should I? _Clarke bit at her lip indecisively. _What's the protocol for this anyway? Am I supposed to refer to her as sir, or ma'am? Dammit. Why couldn't they have taught us something useful instead of calculus?! _

She took in a breath, then hesitated. The breath alone had been enough to catch the Commanders full attention. Even across the room Clarke felt captivated by her gaze. _She's beautiful. _There was something about the Commander that drew her in, that made her want to confide in her, want to trust her. _Keep it together Clarke._

She pressed on, through her nervousness. "Why did you stop me?" _Crap. _She had intended to thank the woman for her hospitality, but her eyes... It was impossible for Clarke to hide anything from them. They pulled the truth from her very soul.

The Commander looked back to her dagger, as though the question was of no concern to her. "If your words proved true my people would be indebted to you. You cannot pay what is owed to the dead, all you can do is live for them." She sheathed the dagger and looked back at Clarke. "If I had allowed you to die Sky Girl, after you had let yourself be captured in order to save them, they would have owed you a Lifedept. I will not allow for our children to bear that burden. Especially not for an Outsider."

"Oh." Clarke said softly. _I should have known. _She thought, remembering the guards words from earlier. Still, the words stung. When the Commander had given her the bandage, she thought she had seen just a hint of compassion in her eyes. A glimmer of concern for her alone, not as a leader but as a person. That she had been mistaken was a bitter pill to swallow. She pushed it aside and pushed herself aside too, summoning her leader persona to handle the conversation instead. Leader Clarke was strong, confident, practical, and her stance reflected it, it was their in the subtle straightening of her back and shoulders. "Thank you by the way, for letting me see them. I was worried." She said, hoping to continue the conversation on better terms. "Did you find their caretaker?"

"Part of her." The Commander replied grimly. "They had been tracked by predators, man eaters. It was lucky that the fog came when it did, else they'd have been eaten too."

Clarke grimaced, remembering the panther she had encountered on their second day on the ground. "Why were they so far from their village?" She asked.

"Are you familiar with the red water leaves? The ones that fight infection?"

Clarke nodded.

"The waters close to the village have been over harvested, as a result they had to travel farther out than usual to get more. It was fortunate for them that you were close." She rose from her chair, walking over to Clarke with purpose. She stopped a pace before Clarke, tilting her head. "And you? What were you doing there, and why were you alone? I thought Sky People always travelled in groups."

Clarke flushed, remembering. "I went for a walk." She said, carefully not making eye contact. It was the truth, she _had _gone for a walk. The fact that the walk had followed a panicked dash through the woods didn't matter.

The Commander quirked an eyebrow. "A walk." She echoed dryly, clearly not believing her.

"Yeah. A walk." Clarke insisted, nodding firmly.

"Alone."

"Uh-huh."

"Unarmed."

Clarke flushed at the reminder. She had been armed, until she panicked. "I... Uh... Forgot?"

"Riiight." She drawled.

Clarke did a mental double take. The sarcasm was a match for her former guards. She ignored it, playing the role of the ditzy blonde as she parroted the word. "Right. I saw the kids, heard the horn, got them to shelter, patched their boo boos, gave them some food, and walked off to find some Grounders hoping I wouldn't get killed. The rest, you know."

Clarke wasn't sure exactly what happened after that. One moment she was standing under her own power, the next her back was to a pole and she was standing on the toes of her good foot, the Commander pressed against her, dagger held to her throat. Clarke gasped, the fierceness in the Commanders eyes at that moment frightened her more than anything she had encountered so far. Leader Clarke shattered, leaving herself fully exposed to her gaze.

"Don't play games with me Clarke. Tell me, what were you doing there alone? Speak true! I will know if you lie." The Commander ordered.

Clarke swallowed, hoping to moisten a throat dry from fear. Those eyes, inches from her own, pierced her to her core. As though the Commander could see to her very soul. Maybe she could. "It's not... Important..." She gasped.

"I will judge what is important or not. Speak." Unyeilding.

"Please..." Clarke begged. _She would never respect me if she knew. _

The Commander just stared, impassive. A slight increase in pressure from the dagger at her throat the only indication that she had heard. Clarke bit her lip. Closing her eyes, she tried one last time to sway the Commanders mind. "It doesn't matter." She whispered.

The dagger slid. Not much, just enough to draw blood. Just enough to give her an idea. Leader Clarke returned with the fierceness of a lion, protecting her weakness once again. She opened her eyes, giving the Commander a challenging look. "I thought you didn't want the children to have a Lifedebt? Let me go, or wash your hands in my blood. You choose."

The Commanders eyes narrowed. "Do you know what that means, Sky Girl? To have a Lifedebt?" She cocked her head. "No, of course you don't. A Lifedebt is a death sentence, Clarke. As blood demands blood, life must have life. If you were to die before the dept could be paid in full, the children would have to follow you into death so as to be able to pay the dept in the next life instead." Her voice softened, expression almost gentle as she searched Clarke's eyes. "Do you really want that? Do you want for me to slit their throats with the same blade pressed to yours? After all you did to save them?"

Of everything, it was the gentleness that did her in. Leader Clarke retreated, leaving herself exposed once more. "No... of course not. I'm sorry, I didn't know."

The Commander nodded, accepting this. "Well then?"

_Crap. There's no way out of this is there? _Clarke searched the Commanders eyes, looking for something, some hint of anything that would convince the woman to drop it. The gentleness had disappeared so quickly that she may well have imagined it, a figment created by her mind out of a naive desire to be cared for. A childish part of herself that had stubbornly refused to grow, despite everything that had happened on the ground. She sagged, closing her eyes in surrender as she confessed, exposing her weakness, her shame. "...I ran away."

The Commander blinked, not having expected that. "You ran away?"

Clarke would have nodded if she could. Instead she opened her eyes, glancing to the side so as to not see the Commanders face when she replied. "Yeah. I ran away. I'm a coward, ok? The group I was travelling with stopped for a meal. They had killed two rabbits, and when they started cooking the meat... The smell... I lost it. So I ran away."

The Commander considered this for a moment. "Roasted meat makes you ill?"

Clarke's eyes closed again. "It makes me remember. The memory makes me ill."

"Is that why you fed your two meals to the dog?"

Clarke's eyes flew open as she looked at the Commander, gobsmacked. "You know about that?!"

The Commander smirked. "Of course. We assumed that you were attempting to win him over for an escape attempt. It wouldn't have worked, but it would have been amusing to watch you try."

She stepped back, releasing Clarke, and moved back to her throne. Seated, she played with the dagger idly as she gazed at Clarke. "Your words proved true. The children are safe and well because of you. You can go free. However." Her gaze turned piercing. "I do not like being indebted to you, Clarke of the Sky People. Claim your reward."

Clarke's mouth opened, a request for an alliance on her lips, Mount Weather on her mind. The Commanders raised hand stopped her.

"This reward is for you alone, as you alone helped them. What is it that _you_ want?"

Clarke closed her mouth. _What do I want? _She wondered. It had been so long since she had thought about herself that she didn't know. She thought about when they had first landed and everything was new. Her awe and happiness, how beautiful it all was. Then she remembered the spear sticking out of Jasper. _No... I can never go back to that. _The worlds beauty was tainted by danger, no matter how much she wanted it she could never be free like that again.

She remembered her friendship with Wells, and the child who ended it. A child who later died because of her, taking the part of her that longed for friendship with her. A part of herself had died that day, and there was no going back.

Her mind flashed to when she had made love to Finn. A distraction. She remember the villagers that had been slain, the gun in Finn's hands, and shoved the memory away ruthlessly. A breeze passed through a part in the tent, bringing the smell of roasting meat with it. She shuddered, her stomach rolling as another memory came in like a wave. Was she really in any position to judge Finn? She shoved that memory away too, and the unwanted question that had come with it. Finally she looked up at the Commander.

"Nothing. I want nothing."

She turned to leave.

The Commanders voice stopped her.

"Everyone wants something."

Clarke froze. Even the Commanders voice drew her in, made her want to bear her soul. _I can't. _"Not me."


	6. Chapter 6

_"Arg! Stupid horse!" Lexa cursed as the wretched beast ran off, having bucked her off yet again. She looked up at her mentor. "Why won't he let me ride him?! I'm good with horses, they _like _me!" She complained._

_Anya smiled, looking down at the girl. "Perhaps he senses that you do not trust him to trust you."_

_Lexa wrinkled her brow. "What's that supposed to mean?"_

_Anya sighed. "A warriors horse is not a beast of burden, Lexa. It is a partner. Partnership is built on trust. In order for him to trust you with his strength, he must first be able to trust you with his weakness. The same goes for you."_

_She held out her hand and Lexa grasped it. She pulled the younger girl to her feet, but did not release her hand. "Become the one he can trust with his weakness, Lexa. Only then will you ride as one."_

_"You're not just talking about the horse, are you?" Lexa asked. _

_Anya smiled, releasing her hand. "Everyone needs someone to trust with their weakness. Why should horses be any different?" She raised a hand to her mouth and emitted a high pitched whistle._

_The horse returned and Anya mounted him without waiting for him to slow to a stop. Lexa watched as they galloped back to camp, moving as one. _

_She snorted. "Show off."_

IlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlI

_"Can I trust you with my weakness, Lexa?"_

IlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlI

"Wait." Lexa said, rising from her chair.

Clarke didn't stop walking, though the sudden tension in her shoulders told Lexa that she had been heard. She quickened her pace, grabbing hold of the crook of Clarke's arm to stop her. "I said wait!"

Clarke stopped. "I told you, there is nothing that I want."

Lexa reached out with her other hand and forcefully turned the girl around. The girl gasped at the motion, staring towards the ground. "Clarke, look at me."

She saw the girl bite her lip, a nervous habit. She gentled her voice, trying to sound more like the Lexa from before she was made commander. "Please."

Clarke hesitated a moment, then slowly looked up, finally making eye contact.

Lexa studied her eyes. With a gentleness that she had previously thought forgotten, she asked again. "What is it that you want? Not Clarke of the Sky People, just you, Clarke."

Emotion swirled in the blue depths, conflicting, needing, yet held at bay by her hesitation. Lexa knew the hesitation well. She had seen it in the eyes of a horse once, and the eyes of a lover later. They were the eyes of someone who had been hurt by the world too much and had carried the weight for too long. The eyes of a child refusing to accept a sweet because the last one had been tainted with poison. She looked at Clarke and saw that a part of her was broken. Her faith in people and the world was in tatters. She saw the eyes of a soul that wanted so desperately to trust, but was held back, chained by the fear of being hurt once again.

In that look, she knew what the sky girl needed. What she wanted. _She's strong, but she falters. She wants so desperately to be cared for. She leads her people, shelters them, kills for them, when all that she wants is for someone to do the same for her. "Everyone needs someone to trust with their weakness Lexa..." _Anya's voice speaks from her memory. _Why should sky people be any different. _

She raised a hand to cup the sky girls cheek. The girl flinched, tried to jerk away from her grasp. She held tight, holding the girl firmly, yet with a gentleness so as not to leave a bruise. _What happened to hurt you so, that you run from even the gentlest touch? _She looked deeply into the girls eyes, not letting her glance away. She saw that the girls resistance was crumbling even as she saw the desperation to keep it together. _Love then. Gentleness, compassion, genuine concern for her alone. That's how this debt will be paid. _A horse whinnied outside and following the sound was a warriors young voice cursing at it in Tridgedaslang. A memory of when she had gone through a similar time played at her memory. _Like coaxing a horse with a wounded spirit to permit one to ride. _

_Very well. _She moistened her lips, speaking to the girl like she would a wounded horse that refused to leave its stall. She was good with horses, making them want to bend to her will. The sky girl would be no different. Of that, she was sure. "You can trust me with your weakness, Clarke. I will not hold it against you, nor will I think any less of you."

She caressed the girls cheek, relishing the involuntary shudder that whispered through her body. _Thought so. _She thought smugly, though she was careful to not let it show. She pretended to hesitate a moment, letting just a hint of uncertainty to show itself in her mask, then lowered her voice. "I was not fully honest with you earlier. The reason I stopped you... It wasn't for the children. I... You're beautiful, Clarke. And strong. And the look in your eyes... You do not seek for death, yet when it was coming your eyes held so much relief. It was selfish, but... I could not allow death to be your relief. I wanted it to be me instead." She let some of her own vulnerability show, risking a bit of herself. _Weakness for weakness, trust for trust. _"Will you let me be?" She asked in a whisper.

Clarke laughed. Her laughter was harsh, bitter, filled with self loafing, heart break and self hate. "I don't think you realize what you're asking."

Lexa raised an eyebrow. "Try me."

Clarke looked at Lexa, smiling the same sad smile she once held in the cell. "Alright. All I want, is to forget. Even if it's just for a moment. To forget... Everything. To have a moment where I'm not a leader, a killer, where I don't have people relying on me. To just Be, and not be anything else. That is what I want. I had it once before, with Finn." Her tone took on a bitter edge. "But that's no longer an option, and never will be again."

Lexa stared at her for a moment, considering the request, recognizing the raw need behind it. She wondered idly if the sky girl knew exactly what it was she was asking for, though she doubted it. She considered it. The sky girl was pleasing to the eye, the blacks and greys suited her. She thought of how she would look sky clad, eyes bright with passion. Desire pooled within her. _Yes, I would like that very much. _

Concern filled her, true concern for the girl that had nothing to do with her mask. She let it fill her eyes, looking at the girl with true compassion as she asked. "What happened that hurt you so much, that of all the things you could have asked for, you ask to be free from your own people?"

As she had known it would, compassion did what words alone could never do. The girls eyes overflowed with the tears that had long been suppressed, her resistance washing away like castles in the sand. She tried once again to leave her arms, fighting for control. Lexa held tight. "Tell me."

And Clarke did. She told her of her dreams and how every one of them had become tainted. She had dreamed of walking through the woods and riding horses since she was a very small child. Both dreams were now tainted by blood that her people had shed. She had dreamed of swimming in rivers under the warmth of the sun, but that too has been tainted. She had dreamed of saving her people, had worked hard for that goal, and had been crushed when she saw three hundred lights falling from the sky. She had wanted peace, dreamed of being brought under Anya's wing hoping that this time, things would be different. That dream would forever be tainted by fire, and later, blood. She had dreamed of forgetting in Finn's arms again, of taking a moment to be who she was and not the mask, only to find him covered in innocent blood. "My dreams... Everything. Every good thing is covered in blood, and I am losing the will to stand in it. That is why I want to forget, Commander. To forget would be to remember who I am, and why I stand."

"Is this why death offers you relief? So you would no longer have to stand?"

Clarke nodded. Her tears had long stopped, her face dry, a faint redness at the edges of her eyes the only sign they had been there at all. "And also why I do not seek it."

Lexa gave the girl a measuring look and considered all that she had been told. _I can't replace all of what has been lost, too much has been taken for that. But maybe... What is plucked will grow again. Perhaps the same can be true for her. If she'll let me. _"I cannot alter the past, what is done is done. However." She reached out, gently cupping her cheek, thumb caressing her with a hint of promise. "I can be a distraction. If you'll let me."

Clarke searched her eyes, seeing only honesty there. Honesty and perhaps... Not affection, but kindness. She nodded, leaning into the caress. "...ok."

Lexa nodded, lowering her hand. "Then come with me."


	7. Chapter 7

"Where are we going?" Clarke asked, following the Commander as they left the tent and walked in the opposite direction of the bathing pool.

"You'll see." She replied, setting a brisk pace.

"Ok, great, I'll see, but would you mind slowing down a little? Or a lot? Sprained ankle, hello?" Clarke called after her, already falling far behind the warrior.

She stopped walking, allowing Clarke to catch up. "My apologies. I had forgotten that you are injured. It won't happen again." She promised as she came along side her.

"Don't worry about it." Clarke gasped, stopping beside the Commander to rub her ankle. An arm wrapped itself around her waist, supporting her. She glanced up at the Commander, but was not able to meet her eyes as the woman was looking ahead.

As though she could feel Clarke's gaze, the woman tightened her hold on Clarke's waist. "Lean on me. It's not far."

Clarke hesitated. She could use the help, but the contact felt incredible. It seemed like it had been so long since she had been touched-touched, and not the one touching-that it made her want for more.

The Commander tilted her head closer. "Trust me."

The whispered breath sent a delicious shiver down Clarke's spine. _Oh boy. _She gulped silently, trying not to let her reactions to such little things show. She nodded, sliding an arm around the Commanders shoulders. She focused on the walk, on every step, the fires, the warriors, _anything _but the woman she leaned on and the warmth it was making her feel. Or she tried to. The Commanders voice starting a conversation made her, and consequently Clarke's reactions to her, impossible to ignore.

"You have lost much, Clarke, yet your actions prove that the you you wish to remember is still very much there. She hides, like a wounded animal, but she is still alive and well within you. The children would have died otherwise."

The breath caught in Clarke's throat. She stumbled, falling into the Commander who raised her other hand to help steady her. Clarke looked up at her. "What?"

The Commander smiled without smiling. If Clarke had been any farther away than she was she would not have noticed it, the Commanders face was as stoic as it always was. Yet the smile was still there, in the subtle way her face relaxed, in the warmth of her eyes. "Even in the prison, I saw her. She was there when you wielded my blade to get the one you call Jaha to back away. She was there when you spoke to me as an equal, though you thought me to be a slave. She was there when you attempted to take your life and she was there again when you spoke to the children. She's still there Clarke. You just need to stop thinking for long enough to be her."

She helped Clarke straighten and motioned for her to start walking again.

They walked the rest of the way in silence. Clarke was stunned. She hadn't thought about it like that. She was soaked in blood, drowning in it almost. The idea that a part of her had survived all of that and still remained pure was laughable. _It's impossible. Those carefree days are long gone, taking her with them. After what I've done, who I've been, there's no coming back from that. She's wrong. That isn't who I am. Not anymore. _But still, beneath the thoughts, a treacherous seed had taken root. Hope.

They stopped at a structure made of wooden beams and canvas walls. A large brass bell hung from one of the beams by what Clarke assumed to be an entrance. The Commander reached up and rang the bell one, three, then one time again. She waited a moment, then pulled a canvas flap aside and motioned for Clarke to step in. Clarke gasped as she entered the room. Wooden beams where spaced evenly throughout the tent, supporting the canvas overhead. Logs on wooden legs stood in two rows. Tied to each log facing eachother along the rows, were horses.

The Commanders arm returned to her waist. "Would you care to meet them?"

Clarke nodded mutely.

They walked along the aisle, slowly going down both sides. Clarke looked at the horses in awe. She had seen horses before, but not like this. Not without a rider striking fear in her heart. Not without the armour designed to intimidate. She stopped at one particular horse that had caught her eye. The chestnut mare was covered in scars, thin lines criss crossing over her flank. She reached out her hand and tentatively caressed her muzzle, stroking with more confidence when she didn't pull away.

"What happened to her?"

The Commander observed the girl, studying her body language as she interacted with the horse. "She was beaten by her trainer."

Clarke hissed, clenching her hand in a fist. "What happened to the trainer?"

Unseen by Clarke, the Commander smiled in remembered bloodlust. "Her fight is over."

"Good." Clarke said, satisfied.

The Commander reached out beside the girl to run her hand over the muzzle. "Would you like to ride her?"

Clarke froze. She wanted to, yes, more than anything at that moment. But... "I don't know how." She confessed.

"Then you will ride with me. She is strong, she can carry two with little strain." The Commander decided. She untied the horse and brought her round to stand in the aisle, then retied her to her post. She then walked over to the pillar closest to the horse and returned with a bucket which she put down next to Clarke. "As you are injured, I will pick her hooves myself. Then you will help me groom her."

Clarke started to point out that she didn't know how to do _that _either, but a Look silenced her. She watched as the Commander reached into the bucket and removed something that looked like a very small ice pick that she had seen people use in movies.

"This is a pick, we use it to clear any debris from the horses hoofs." She paused at Clarke's questioning look. "Their feet." She clarified.

Clarke watched eagerly, fascinated as the Commander stood close to the beast and ran a hand down her leg. She squeezed the fetlock and the horse obediently lifted her leg, allowing her to clean out the hoof. She repeated this with the three remaining hoofs then returned to Clarke. She dropped the pick in the bucket and removed two... Weird, circular, wooden things. She held one of the things out to Clarke.

"This is a curry comb. We use it to free mud, loose hair, and other stuff from the rest of the hair. Use it like this..."

And so they continued, the Commander teaching and Clarke following her instructions. Clarke felt herself relax, the steady brush strokes on warm horseflesh lulling her into a trance. Her mind quieted, leaving her more at peace than she'd been since before she stumbled upon her father's secret. When the coat was clean, the Commander brought over a fur lined saddle pad and bridle. She hung the bridle on a hook and lay the saddle upon the horses back.

"This will be more comfortable for riding double." She explained, tightening the girth round the horses belly. She then removed the harness, putting the bridle in its place. She turned to Clarke. "Are you ready?"

Clarke looked up at the horse. Way up. Suddenly she felt that maybe, this wasn't such a good idea. "Um... She's kinda... Up."

The Commander tilted her head. "She's only eighteen hands. Granted, the children and elderly have smaller, but she is hardly big for a warhorse."

Clarke looked up at the horses back. At five foot four, she felt like a child next to the beast. She took a steady breath and reached up as she had seen the people in the movies do, grabbing the front and back of the fur saddle. She started to pull herself up and almost immediately stopped, hissing as her shoulder reminded her that unlike in the movies, injuries do not disappear in minutes. She released the saddle, cradling her arm.

The Commander was by her side in a moment. "Forgive me, I had forgotten about your shoulder. Do you think you could make it if I helped you?"

Clarke considered this for a moment. "Maybe, but how?"

"Here." The Commander bent her knees and cupped her hands. "Hang on to the saddle. You steer, and I will lift you up."

Clarke bit her lip, suddenly feeling very shy. "Are you sure? Won't your hands get dirty?"

The Commander raised an eyebrow. "I would hardly be the Commander if I were afraid of a little dirt."

That decided her. Ignoring the twinge from her shoulder she turned and again reached for the saddle. Shyness temporarily forgotten, she placed her foot in the Commanders hands and closed her eyes as she was lifted up, and up... She managed to get her bum in the saddle this time and opened her eyes. She blinked. "Where did her head go?"

She heard a snicker, which was then cut off by a snort. She looked down to see the usually stoic Commander bent double, both hands covering her mouth, trying to contain her laughter. _What, did I split my pants or something? _The horse beneath her whinnied and she wrinkled her brow in confusion. It was crazy, but for a moment she could have sworn that the sound had come from _behind _her. _What the...? _She turned around to look. "...oh."

There was the head, looking back at her. The horse whinnied again. _Great, now even the horse is laughing at me. _

The Commander got herself back under control, though her twinkling eyes betrayed her amusement. "Hey, look on the bright side. At least you're on the horse."

"Not helping." Clarke replied with a glare. She swung her leg over and tried to turn herself around, but she overcompensated for the smooth fur beneath her. She emitted an undignified squawk as she felt herself falling from the saddle.

The Commander caught her, breaking her fall, a quiet 'oof' leaving her lips as she landed on the packed earth with the girl on top of her. They made eye contact, then both of them burst into giggles, muffling the sound in each other's shoulders. They clung to eachother, laughter shaking their frames as the horse waited patiently for her riders. The Commander regained her composure first. She waited, stroking the hair on the sky girls head as she held her, a small almost smile on her lips.

Eventually Clarke regained control. She looked up at the Commander, eyes still shining, and caught her breath at the tender look in the Commanders eyes.

The Commander caressed her cheek, Clarke instinctively leaning into the caress as the woman spoke in that ever soft voice used only for her. "See? There you are."

_No, she's wrong. _Clarke pulled back, merriment forgotten as her walls snapped back up. She awkwardly clambered back to her feet, reaching down with her good arm to offer assistance to the Commander.

The woman sighed quietly, accepting the hand to allow herself to be pulled to her feet. "Are you ready to try again?"

Clarke's eyes widened. "Are you nuts?"

"Get knocked down, get back up. It is our way, Clarke. Try again." The tenderness was gone, replaced by her usual stoic mask.

"Commander, I don't think..."

"Lexa."

"What?"

"My name, is Lexa. When we are infront of the others Commander will do. But when it is just you and I, I would prefer it if you use my given name."

_Lexa. _Clarke thought, feeling out the name. "Alright, Lexa. I still don't think that this is a good idea."

Lexa smirked. "Get knocked down, get back up. Now try again."

Clarke rolled her eyes, turning to do as Lexa said. As she grasped the saddle and was lifted up she couldn't help but wonder if Lexa wasn't only talking about the horse.


	8. Chapter 8

Clarke managed to mount correctly-and stay in the saddle-on the second attempt. She wove her fingers into the mane and held on for dear life as Lexa led them out of the stables through a back entrance that Clarke had not noticed earlier. She blinked when Lexa lifted a flap that had concealed a mine entrance. "Is this safe?" She asked as the warrior led her through.

"This path is, for now. This place is known as The Labyrinth. We have several of them. We change the layout daily as a precaution against the Reapers using them to catch us unaware. There are three paths that lead to safety. The rest..." She paused outside a side tunnel. Reaching into her pouch she removed a thick leather glove and some flint stone. She struck the flint and lit a torch on the wall, but did not touch it. Instead she put the flint away and donned the glove. She took the torch with her gloved hand and held it out so that Clarke could see the shaft of it in the dim lighting left from the stable. Sharp metal barbs lined the torch, tips gleaming from some kind of liquid. _Poision_. "Lead to a very slow and painful death. Remember this Clarke. You are safe now because you are with me, but you must never enter the mines alone. Do you understand?"

Clarke nodded.

Lexa lifted the torch, illuminating the wall next to the stable entrance. The numbers 8675309 had been written there in charcoal.

"What does it mean?" Clarke asked.

"It's the key to navigating the labyrinth safely. There may be three paths, but as they change so often we have no way of communicating what they are to all who may need it. So we leave them a clue."

"But wouldn't that also help the Reapers?"

"No. We leave clues, but we also have a code we use to interpret them which changes every week. Without the code, the hints are worthless."

"Why three paths? If they change daily surely one would be enough?"

"One path in, one path out, one that can only be used by the horses."

Lexa took the reins again, leading her into the darkness.

_This place is so strange. _Clarke thought as the darkness swallowed everything but the warrior, her horse, and the light. _One wrong turn, one wrong move, and everything would be over. My body wouldn't even be found, unless the Grounders chose to expose it. Death... I am literally surrounded by it, but I feel so safe. Like I've been away somewhere a long time and am finally returning home. _

The sounds of footsteps and hoof beats echoed softly as they travelled the tunnels, Lexa confidently leading the way. The torchlight flickered along the walls as they passed. The combination of light and sound and the motion of the animal beneath her made her relax despite her excitement over riding a horse. She sighed, easing her death grip on the horses mane. Her mind wandered.

Lexa's voice brought it back. "Does it bother you?"

"Does what bother me?" Clarke asked absently, shifting her hands to a more comfortable grip.

"The fire." Lexa said, gesturing to how the torchlight flickered along the walls.

Clarke understood what she meant. "Oh. That. No, not really. I may have started the fire, but I didn't see it."

Lexa said nothing to that.

Clarke figited as she watched the Commander walk, her shadow keeping pace along the wall. "Does it bother you?" She asked in a rush.

She took in a shaky breath and tried again. "I mean, being here, with me. Does it bother you?" _Do you hate me? _She wanted to ask, but held it back, fearing what the answer may be.

Lexa didn't miss a step as she replied, not looking back. "No."

_What? _"Why?" She blurted out, too surprised to stop herself. "After everything I did? How can you stand to be this close to me and not want to kill me?" _I'm covered in your people's blood, so why? _The question hung in the air, unspoken, yet its presence lingered all around them. It was there in her eyes and would have begged to be answered, if Lexa would only look.

She didn't.

"War is war, Clarke. We our not ourselves when we are in it, yet we are also most alive when we are in its throws. There is no room for judgement in those times. We underestimated you, backed you into a corner, and as any creature would do, you lashed out. We should have known better." She spoke the last part ruefully, as one who had learned a painful lesson at too high a price.

She sighed, finally glancing over her shoulder to look at Clarke. "I do not blame you, Clarke. We all do what we must to survive."

_She doesn't blame me. _Relief flooded through Clarke, easing the hard knot of anxiety in her chest. The guilt was still there, but it was not as all consuming as it had been. She sat up a little straighter, unconscious of the gesture.

IlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlI

Ahead of her, Lexa noted the change in the girls demeanour and felt a moments satisfaction. _Good. Guilt like that wreaks havoc on the soul. _She led the girl steadily downward, the decline so subtle that she doubted the girl had even noticed that they had gone underground. She carefully kept count of the turns as they went, mindful of how easy it would be to lose track of the turns and get lost. She reached the eighth turn and took the passage, beginning the count again from there.

She had not exaggerated the danger, one wrong turn and they would all be dead. But she had been travelling the labyrinths since she was old enough to understand the key, and was confident in her ability to navigate it safely. She heard Clarke shift in the saddle and sensed that she wanted to ask something, but was hesitating. "We can talk if you want to, I won't get us lost." She assured the girl.

"What's her name?" Clarke asked softly.

Lexa smiled a little, risking another brief glance over her shoulder. "You can speak normally, you know. The roof is not going to collapse upon us."

The girl flushed. "Sorry." She gestured to the horse beneath her. "What's her name?"

"Naveen." Lexa answered, turning back to the path. "It means Beautiful."

"Naveen..." Clarke echoed softly. "I like it. It's pretty."

"Do you know why I chose it?" Lexa asked, then continued without waiting for an answer. "I chose it, because she never gave up. She kept going. She endured beatings, starvation, and still kept going the next day, everyday. Her spirit was never broken." _And neither is yours. _She did not give voice to the thought, knowing that if she had it would only be rejected.

She glanced back again. Clarke was running her hand over some of the scars on Naveen's back, a soft smile on her lips. _Yes, think of that. Think of how the scars tell her story. Think of her battles, and then think of the healing that took place after. Let Naveen's scars plant the seed that the same may be true for you. _She frowned, turning back to the path before the sky girl could see it. Her thoughts swirled around the girl, even as she counted the sixth turn and led Naveen down it.

_What happened to her? The guilt has eased, but why was it even there in the first place? Why do my touches make her flinch away? She has true strength, I _know _she does. So why does she feel so worthless? _She pondered over this, analyzing her confession from earlier. _Tainted dreams... _No. She knew in her gut that that wasn't where the problem lay. _It's not that her dreams have been tainted, it's as if she feels she is no longer worthy of having them. But why? What could have happened that would have damaged someone so strong in such a fundamental way. _

She mulled over the blonde rubix cube behind her, turning down the seventh passage subconsciously. She went back, analyzing every moment she had spent with the blonde, recalling every word, every subconscious gesture, that had happened in her presence. She thought back to when she met the girl in her prison, and almost missed a step as a sentence jumped in her memory.

_"The massacre was my fault. I tried to stop him, but I was too late."_

_"The massacre was my fault..." What did she mean by that? _"Clarke?" She called, keeping her tone neutral so as to not startle the girl while getting her attention. "I am not angry with you, but I am curious. When you said that the massacre was your fault, what did you mean? Was it an order that you intended to cancel, or..."

"No!" Clarke denied vehemently. "I would never order a thing like that!"

Lexa nodded. "I didn't honestly think that you would. But then, what did you mean? If it wasn't at your direct order, how could it possibly be your fault?" She turned, leading Naveen backwards so her puzzlement could be seen by Clarke.

Clarke bit her lip, looking down at the fistful of mane in her hands. Lexa was beginning to wonder if she would get an answer, when Clarke sighed softly and looked at her again. "He did it for me, to find me."

Her eyes turned pleading. "Please... Try to understand. The person who did _that, _to your village, is not the Finn I knew. He was passionate for peace, so much so that he didn't even want us to have the guns to defend ourselves with. He never wanted any of your people to be hurt."

Her fists tightened on the horse hair, her whole body going tense as she continued. "But then the army attacked. He was outside the dropship when I closed the hatch."

Her eyes closed. "When I fired the thrusters."

She opened her eyes. "Something inside of him broke after that. When he learned I was missing, he became obsessed with finding me. He thought your people were responsible. He became ruthless in his desperation to find me."

Lexa's eyes narrowed, a feeling in her gut telling her that she was close to having a piece of the puzzle fall into place. "Why you? My soldier informed me that all of you were missing, and the one you call Kane backed this. What was it about _you _that was so important?"

Clarke flushed. "He loves me."

Lexa's brows went up as the puzzle piece clicked into place. "You're lovers?"

Clarke figited with the horse hair and looked to the wall, watching their shadows. "We were, but it ended."

"Why?"

Clarke's gaze shifted to her hands. "His girlfriend landed the next day."

_Ah. That's why. _More of the puzzle fell into place. She cocked her head. "Was he your first?"

Clarke shifted in the saddle, looking like she'd rather be anywhere else than alone with Lexa at that moment. "Yeah."

Lexa blinked, another piece falling as she asked, as gently as she could. "He didn't tell you about her, did he?"

Clarke shook her head.

The puzzle clicked into place, complete. _So that's it. That's what planted the seed of doubt, why she feels so unworthy. The other failures, the tainted dreams, they were just what the seed needed to grow. She's still there, still the strong, beautiful, leader that her people needs, but her doubts choke her. Like a flower wilting in the shadows because the weeds have blocked out the sun._

Lexa turned back to the path, looking for the fifth turn. Seeing its outline, she led them through it. The path ended, broken into three different directions. She picked the third one, noting as she did so that the path was starting to angle up. They would be at the surface soon.

They continued in silence for a while, though it was clear from her figiting that Clarke had expected her to say more. Lexa waited, offering nothing but her acceptance of what had already been given. _Don't ask, don't push. Let her come to you. _Anya's voice whispered in her memory. _Be patient._

Naveen had healed, thanks to her care under Anya's supervision. Lexa was confident that the sky girl would be no different. Yet a treacherous feeling of doubt had wormed its way into her heart, waking a feeling she had suppressed long ago as being weakness. A feeling that now lifted her thoughts into a prayer. _At least, I hope._


	9. Chapter 9

The path ended, splitting off into opposite directions. Lexa had stopped ahead of her. Clarke shifted in the saddle, conflicted. Intellectually, she knew that there was probably a reason for the stop. A good reason. A reason that probably required the need to concentrate. In silence. For an unreasonably long length of time. _Why isn't she doing anything? _Clarke whined mentally, shifting again in her impatience. _She's just standing there, staring at the wall like it's the most fascinating thing on earth. A wall. A plain, ordinary, nothing unique about it, wall. _

Lexa stepped closer, raising the torch to study the wall in more detail.

_Hello? Earth to Lexa? It's. A. Wall. _Clarke thought sarcastically, shifting again. She sighed, impatience winning the battle over logic. She started to say something, when Lexa made her move.

She reached out, touching the wall in nine different spots almost faster than Clarke could blink. There was an audible 'click' as she touched the last one. A hidden door swung open, bringing a rush of cool outside air with it.

Clarke breathed deep, relishing the fresh air as Lexa led them outside, dousing the torch in a bucket of water by the entrance as she passed. The door closed behind them. Clarke turned, looking for it, but as it had been on the inside it was perfectly hidden. No sign of the door or the mines remained.

Lexa moved to the horses side and touched Clarke's leg, fingers a gentle caress on her thigh. "Are you ready?"

Clarke took in a shaky breath, hyper aware of the touch. She nodded, not trusting the steadiness of her voice, Lexa's touch affected her so.

Lexa smiled her approval. "Good."

She handed Clarke the reins, adjusting the woman's grip until she was holding them right. She walked around Naveen, making minor adjustments to Clarke's pose, murmuring directions and explaining the reasons for them. Satisfied, she stepped back. "Stay in the clearing, don't go too fast, and trust her eyes over your own. Her night vision is better. Kick her once to walk, again to trot. Pull back gently on the reins on whichever side you wish her to turn, or pull both of them if you'd like for her to stop." She instructed.

Clarke gulped. "You mean I have to ride her by myself?" She squeaked.

Lexa laughed. "Why not? Don't you _want_ to?"

"Yes! No. I don't know!" Clarke moaned.

Lexa smiled at her. "Relax. Just start slow and you'll be fine."

Clarke took a nervous breath. "Ok... Ok. I can do this. Just one little kick. Just a walk. I can do this. I can." She screwed her eyes shut, and kicked.

Nothing happened. She kicked again. She opened one eye. Naveen was looking back at her. If Clarke didn't know any better, she'd swear that the horse was actually bored. She kicked the horse again. "Move!"

Naveen's ear twitched. She turned her head, lowered it to bite at the grass, then raised it again to look at Clarke as she chewed. Clarke tried kicking her again, a bit harder this time. "Um... Forward? Walk? Mush? Go you stupid horse!"

A soft series of plops was her answer. She looked back at the stinking pile in disgust. "Oh come on!"

"You could try saying please?" Lexa suggested, eyes twinkling as she repressed her laughter.

Clarke scowled, kicking the horse again. "Please?"

Her jaw dropped as Naveen stepped forward. "You have got to be kidding me."

"Congratulations, you now have the manners of a horse." Lexa teased.

"Shut up." Clarke countered, smiling back at her.

She rode across the field, pulling gently on the reins to guide her around it. Slowly she gained confidence, relaxing at the easy gait. _This isn't too bad. _The stars and moon, currently not blocked by clouds, gave her plenty of light to see by in the fading twilight. She looked around, enjoying the beauty around her for the first time since her first day on the ground. Not looking for hidden dangers, not thinking of plans for the future, just living in the moment and trusting in her horse and the Commander to guard her back.

"Try going faster!" Lexa called.

Clarke grinned as she encouraged Naveen to go faster. She quickly learned two things; one, that riding a trotting horse is _nothing _like in the movies, and two, that riding a trotting horse when you have several bruises on your torso and a sprained ankle, _hurts. _She lost the carefree grin as she began bouncing around like a sack of potatoes, teeth clacking with every bounce.

_Crap crap crap crap, CRAP! How do I stop this thing?! _She panicked, forgetting everything she had learned. In her panic she kicked when she should have pulled...

Naveen whinnied gleefully as she broke into a canter, rushing straight towards Lexa. Lexa jumped aside, barely avoiding getting trampled by the runaway horse. She cupped her hands around her mouth. "Pull on the reins!"

Clarke heard her, the shout cutting through her panic. _Reins! Right! _Except she wasn't holding any. They fluttered in the wind of their passing, just out of reach. _Crap! _She grabbed onto a double fistful of horse hair, and in desperation she leaned back and pulled.

Naveen reacted as a war steed. She dug her feet into the ground and slid to a stop, sending Clarke crashing forward over her neck. She then reared back onto her hind legs, screaming in challenge to an unseen foe, kicking at the air with her forelegs. Clarke fell back, losing her grip on the mane and falling to the ground with an audible 'oof.'

She lay there, dazed, seeing stars as Lexa's laughter rolled over her.

Lexa walked over to her, tears of mirth shining in her eyes. She looked down at the blonde. "Are you ok?"

In that moment, Lexa was no longer the Commander to her. That title was gone, away with the wind and Clarke's common sense. She glared at the woman. "Ride a horse, she said. You'll be fine, she said. Go faster, she said."

Lexa grinned. "She also said, 'get knocked down, get back up.' Think you're ready to try again?" She held out her hand, offering to help Clarke up.

Clarke's world narrowed on that hand. _That's it! That is _so _it. _She growled low in her throat and grabbed that hand, yanking its owner down with all her strength. Lexa fell, wide-eyed, and Clarke used the surprise to her advantage, straddling the woman. She showed no mercy, attacking the woman's sides with a vengeance.

Or that was the plan anyway.

"What are you doing?" Lexa asked, amused by the blondes efforts.

Clarke looked up at her, pouting at the completely unaffected Commander. "Tickling you."

Lexa raised an eyebrow. "Through armour?"

Clarke looked down at the stiff leather. "Oh. Right."

Lexa smirked, eyes twinkling as she slowly raised her hands. "Which you're not wearing?"

Clarke's eyes widened, realizing the woman's intentions. _Oh crap. _"Now Lexa... Remember that I'm injured... You wouldn't tickle a wounded woman, would you?"

Lexa's expression softened as she lowered her hands to rest on Clarke's legs. "Of course not..." She said, smiling sweetly.

Clarke smiled, relaxing after the close call.

"Much."

Clarke yelped as strong, quick, fingers found the sensitive spot behind her knees. She struggled to rise, laughing and snorting uncontrollably, but the Commander held fast, attacking her behind her knees and under her arms at unpredictable moments. Every time Clarke successful guarded one spot another one was exposed, and Lexa was quick to take advantage.

"Mercy! Mercy!" Clarke begged, howling with laughter. "Stop!"

"Make me." Lexa smirked, renewing her attack on Clarke's legs.

"Ah!" Clarke cried, laughing hard enough that her sides started to ache. A plan formed in her mind and she clutched onto it. She moved to block Lexa's acess to her knees, as she had done before. Lexa took the bait, moving to switch her assault to Clarke's underarms. This time Clarke was ready for it. With a speed born from desperation, she grabbed those hands, forcefully pinning them to either side of the Commanders head.

"Got... You..." She panted. She collapsed on top of Lexa, head resting on her shoulder, gasping as she recovered from the Commanders devilish assault.

Lexa chucked. "And what do you plan on doing with me?"

Clarke pushed herself up, narrowing her eyes playfully as she looked down at the woman beneath her. "Depends... If I let you go, would you promise not to tickle me?"

Lexa smirked. "I think you've learned your lesson."

Clarke laughed softly. "That's an understatement."

She gazed at Lexa. The moonlight bathed her face, giving her a softness that Clarke hadn't noticed before. She loosened her grip, bringing one hand up to gently caress the moon lit face, a question in her eyes.

Lexa tilted her face, subtly leaning into the caress as her eyes connected with Clarke's. Accepting. Challenging.

Something in Clarke responded to the challenge, hungered for it. She slowly lowered her head, teasing the woman, ghosting over her lips with her breath before gently brushing them with her own. She glanced up, suddenly doubting that this was really ok, checking to see if maybe she had misread the signal. The look in the Commanders eyes caused her doubts to scatter like leaves in the wind. Clarke's breath caught at seeing that look. Warmth, acceptance, patience... _No, not quite. Patience is when you expect something, but this... _Her heart glowed as she looked at Lexa in wonder, the contentment in her eyes warming her in a way no passionate embrace ever had.

She closed the gap between them, eyes sliding shut as she kissed willing lips. Softness greeted her, opened to her, accepting, hinting at a welcome for more yet not pushing. Sensing movement, Clarke broke the kiss, lifting her head just enough to see what she had sensed.

Lexa's hand hovered, close to her face yet not quite touching. Clarke looked into her eyes, suddenly anxious. The contentedness was still there, easing her anxiety. The warmth was also there, mixed with a hint of question. Clarke bit at the edge of her lip and nodded her permission, sighing as Lexa's hand ghosted over her cheek to rest at her jaw, her thumb trailing a path across her lips. The hand slid to her head in a caress, fingers weaving through her hair as the Commander pulled her down for another kiss.

Where Clarke's kiss had been tentative, Lexa's was confident. She claimed Clarke's lips without hesitation, kissing with a slow passion that left Clarke burning for more. She skimmed over Clarke's lower lip with the tip of her tongue, tasting, neither asking for entrance or demanding it. She gently drew the kiss out, drawing the abused lip into her mouth and nibbling at it before releasing it only to kiss the blonde again.

She turned their bodies, twisting until their positions were reversed, Clarke's curves laid out beneath her. Clarke gasped into the kiss, not pulling away, her hands coming up to hold Lexa closer to her. Lexa took advantage, deepening the kiss, her tongue caressing Clarke's briefly before pulling back. She slowed the kiss, breaking it gently before pulling back to look at the blonde.

Clarke opened dazed eyes, trailing her hands down Lexa's arms to rest on the ground at her sides. "Wow."

Lexa smiled. Rising to her feet, she reached down to help Clarke.

Clarke grasped the hand, allowing herself to be pulled to her feet.

Lexa's smile turned wicked. "So, ready to try again?"

Naveen nickered joyously as Clarke groaned in despair, lust forgotten as she looked at the devil incarnate in sheer disbelief. "You're joking right?"

"Get knocked down, get back up." Her eyes softened, smile losing its wicked edge as she looked at Clarke, taking in the way she was keeping her weight on her uninjured foot. "But you need not ride alone. Not this time."

Clarke considered the offer, then nodded, figuring it was probably the best compromise she was going to get. She scrambled back into the saddle with Lexa's help, who then mounted behind her with an ease Clarke envied.

An arm wrapped around Clarke's waist, the other reaching past her for the reigns. Lexa's breath ghosted over her ear. "Lean into me, and relax. Move with me. Trust in her and trust in me. I won't let you fall."

Clarke nodded even as that breath sent delicious shivers down her spine. She leaned into Lexa, sighing as she felt Lexa's warmth flush against her back.

IlIlIlIlIlIlIlI

Lexa started Naveen off at a walk, allowing Clarke a moment to readjust to being on horseback, and Naveen time to get accustomed to carrying the weight of two.

She felt Clarke settle more fully against her, relaxing quicker that she had expected her to. Her lips tingled, the kiss affecting her more than it should. _Love is weakness. _She reminded herself.

But the reminder did nothing to erase the warmth she felt that had nothing and everything to do with the blonde pressed against her. _Focus on the debt. _Blue eyes filled with a fire she had lit opened in her memory, warmth turning to desire within her at the thought. She pushed it aside. _Lust. Nothing more. _Genuine concern for the girl, butterflies in her stomach at her every smile and laugh, and the warmth she felt now, denied her the lie. She closed her eyes, finally realizing that she was falling for the blonde. Hard.

_Shit._


	10. Chapter 10

Clarke tensed as she felt Naveen begin to gain speed.

"Relax." Lexa murmured. "Move with me."

The arm around her middle tightened its hold, bringing her focus to the warm body at her back. She noticed how Lexa was moving, rising and lowering to the horses gait, and concentrated on moving with her. It took a few attempts, but soon she was able to match pace with her. No longer at the mercy of the horses gait, she began to enjoy the ride. Moving as one with both Naveen and Lexa, she let everything go, throwing out her arms with a loud 'whoop!' She tilted her head back and let out a joyous laugh, the ride making her feel more free than she had ever felt before.

She felt Lexa chuckle, and tilted her head to grin back at her. "This is amazing!"

Lexa smiled back. "I told you you'd like it."

"I love it!" Clarke kissed her cheek spontaneously, then turned back to enjoy the ride. The tree line was fast approaching, so she lowered her arms to rest over Lexa's arm, trusting her and Naveen not to run them into a tree.

Luminescent butterflies filled the air as they entered the forrest, startled into flight by their passing. Clarke gasped, delighted by their beauty. Trees blurred by, the mushrooms on their trunks glowing like the eyes of predators in the dark. She blinked as a butterfly landed upon a crimson mushroom and was promptly eaten, the mushroom curling around it, trapping it in its folds.

She felt Lexa nuzzle at her ear and tilted her head so as to hear her better. "I want to show you something, a place where only I go. However, it is very dangerous. More dangerous than the labyrinth. I cannot guarantee your safety, but I promise that it will be worth it." Hot air ghosted along her neck, her skin tingling pleasantly at the sensation. "Do you trust me?"

Clarke sighed, leaning into the woman, head resting just below her chin. She wanted to say yes, but she suspected that Lexa wanted her to take some time to consider it. She remembered Lexa the Slave, the true hatred that had been in her eyes when they had first spoken. It hadn't bothered her then, but it was something that she couldn't forget now.

She remembered the vague hint of _something, _an emotion different from the hate, that had been there when she had given her the bandage. She couldn't quite place a name to it, though Wells had often had a similar look when he was debating over starting a jigsaw puzzle. _As though he was weighing its worth, trying to determine if it was even worth starting or would just be another wasted project. Is that what Lexa was thinking when she looked at me? _

Clarke thought of after that, the true concern and compassion she had witnessed in the tent. The tender moments that had happened after. The calm patience she had shown while she had taught her some of the basics of horse care. She remembered their conversation in the mines, how she had asked without demanding, showing nothing more than understanding. There had been no judgement, no rejection, no accusations or worse, sympathy. Just that calm understanding, and acceptance.

Her cheeks burned as she remembered her first riding lesson, and her futile attempt at vengeance. _I can't believe I actually tried to tickle her, the Commander of all people! _Then she remembered the kiss and stopped just short of groaning in despaired humiliation. _I can't believe I did _that _either. _But then Lexa had kissed her back, and she had been the one to initiate the second kiss. Clarke remembered her eyes in vivid detail, the warm acceptance and true contentment sparking a fire within her that she never wanted to be sated.

That was the woman asking for her trust now.

She tilted her head back. "Yes."

She felt more than saw Lexa's face break into a grin.

Naveen loped through the trees, following a path Clarke couldn't see. Gradually the sound of her racing hooves changed, going from the soft thuds of hitting earth to the louder clops of hoof on stone. Overgrown hedges lined the stone path. A tap at her side drew her attention and she looked down to see Lexa pointing at the ground behind them.

"Wow..." Clarke breathed, seeing a trail of hoof prints, glowing a subtle blue, on the stone.

She turned, looking forward again as the row of hedges ended. They entered a courtyard. A domed pavilion, white in the moonlight, stood in the centre, surrounded by a circle of night blooming flowers. Butterflies fluttered around the flowers, landing briefly on one only to fly to the next a mere second later. Clarke puzzled over this for a moment, until one stayed for a moment too long and was eaten, the flower closing around it much like the mushroom had before.

Lexa directed Naveen to the pavilion and signalled her to stop. She dismounted, then held out her arms in a wordless offer to help Clarke do the same. Blushing, Clarke accepted it, sliding down into her arms. A moment later she was glad she had. She clung to Lexa, her shaking legs refusing to support her. "Woah! What...?"

"Easy... Your body is not used to riding. You'll adjust in a minute." Lexa assured.

And she did. The shaking eased and soon stopped. She took an experimental step forward, releasing Lexa when she was moderately certain that she wasn't going to fall flat on her face. She looked around the courtyard in open wonder. "Wow..."

Lexa smiled, clearly pleased by her enjoyment. "The elderly ones say that this place used to be a home for the wealthy. The mansion is in ruins now, but the gardens still remain."

Clarke walked around the pavilion, worries and doubts left behind by the child like wonder she felt now. She reached out to trail her fingers over the structure, her smile growing wider as blue trails followed her fingers over the stone. She turned to Lexa. "What's causing this?"

"I don't know." She said, walking over to stand beside her, blue footprints following in her wake. "But it's pretty."

Clarke nodded, glancing at Lexa. "True."

Lexa reached out, trailing her finger across the stone. "I found this place with... A friend, a long time ago. It was our secret place. We used to sneak away together for hours at a time and no one was able to find us. We liked training here because there were no eyes to learn our weaknesses, and at night the lights helped us to master our foot work." She moved her finger, drawing an image on the stone.

Clarke smiled when she was done. "Naveen?" She guessed.

Lexa nodded, lowering her hand. A rearing horse glowed softly on the pillar, the scars on her flank standing out like badges of honour. She smirked, raising her hand again to draw something else on the pillar.

"Oh haha, really funny." Clarke said, playfully shoving Lexa's shoulder when she saw what the new drawing was. A girl, laying flat on her back behind and slightly to the side of the horse.

She raised her hand, pausing to glance at Lexa. "Do you mind?"

Lexa shook her head, and Clarke went to work.

She brushed her thumb across the pillar above the horse, creating the sky. A thumbprint became the moon, the barest tap of her finger tips creating stars. She made changes to Naveen, adding wings to her back and broken chains to her legs. A dash and a tap of her smallest finger made a shooting star. Then, with a small smirk she hid from Lexa, she added a figure laying over the one on the ground, their hands interlocked, lips joined. She lowered her hand, the picture now complete.

Lexa looked at the drawing. "Wings?"

Clarke smiled. "They represent freedom. Breaking the shackles of the past and flying to a new future."

Lexa smiled at the explanation. She turned to Clarke. "Are you ready to see more?"

"One second." Clarke said, turning away from the pavilion. She walked over to a space free of foot and hoof prints and laid down on her back, looking up at the stars. Grinning, she began moving, sending her arms and legs away from her body and back again.

"What are you doing?" Lexa asked, bemused.

"Join me!" Clarke called, raising an arm briefly to point at a blank spot beside her.

"I think not."

"Come on..." She said enticingly.

"No."

"I'll give you a massage if you do."

"No. Are you even good at it?"

Clarke stopped her movements to sit up and look at Lexa. "Put it this way... Trees didn't exist in space, so I'm sure that you can imagine how much of a rarity wood was for us, right?"

At Lexa's nod, she continued. "My massages earned me three sets of watercolour pencils, five packs of charcoal pencils, one set of wooden paint brushes, three notebooks, and one unopened pack of paper." She smiled sweetly as Lexa's jaw dropped. "So do we have a deal?"

"Deal. Though I fail to see the point of this... Activity."

Clarke grinned broadly. "Awesome."

IlIlIlIlIlIlIlI

Lexa laid on the ground beside Clarke, turning to watch as she laid back down beside her. She looked up at the sky. "Which one was yours?"

Clarke looked up, searching, but then shook her head. "I can't see it. Whatever light it had is gone now that the stations have left. Camp Jaha is my home."

"What was it like, to live with the stars?" Lexa had been wanting to ask a sky person that for ages. Her natural thirst for knowledge and curiosity of the unknown had long been suppressed, a necessity of being the commander. It felt good to have an outlet now.

"Well..." Clarke said, looking up at the stars as she collected her thoughts. "The cooling units were constantly in need of repairs, so it was often either very hot, or very cold, particularly in the poor districts. I was privileged with being born in the rich district though, so for us it was probably better. My mother was the Cheif of Medical, and my father was the Chief Enginieer, which placed them both on the Council. They were both very busy, but they taught me a lot."

She paused to moisten her lips. "The walls were all metal hulls. Flags from The Earth That Was gave them some colour, here and there, but for the most part it was just corridor after corridor of the same metallic grey. Except for the observation deck." She smiled in rememberance. "Access to it was restricted due to the high risk of a hull breach, but I can't think of anyone who hadn't snuck in there at least once. It was my favourite place. The walls were polished to a reflective shine, and the one wall was completely made of glass. It was the closest any of us could get to the stars without spacewalk authorization."

She looked at Lexa. "It was better for me than the others. I know that. I had a privileged life. Because of my parents position I had access to a regular supply of the best fruits and vegetables Hydrophonics could offer, and because I was being trained for Medical I had access to more water than most. Hot water."

She smiled softly. "The others used to resent me for it, even going so far as to give me the moniker Princess. But they never saw behind the scenes. We had access to the good food, but we ate very little of it so mom could give it to her patients instead. We mostly ate the same as everyone else."

"What was the food like?" Lexa asked, fascinated by even the most menial details. She felt a small measure of pride for Clarke's parents, approving of how they had shaped the girl. _Even from a young age she was taught to put her people first, learning the best way possible, from the example of her parents. It's no wonder she became their leader. She's a natural._

Clarke wrinkled her nose. "Bland, metallic. The burned animal we ate our first day here was literally the best thing I had ever tasted in my life."

Lexa's eyes widened slightly. "That bad?"

Clarke sighed. "Yeah. That bad. The air always smelled of metal, machine oil, and cleaning agents, and it always effected how the food tasted." She grimaced. "And don't even think about asking about the water. Trust me, you _don't _want to know."

Lexa tried to picture the world Clarke was describing. A world with no sky, no soil, no rain, no wind, no _life, _and shuddered. _Hell. She was literally raised in hell. Yet she grew up learning how to make the best of it, finding blessings in the smallest of things. That is what planted the seed of strength I see in her. _

She looked at Clarke, seeing the sky girl in a new way as she began to truly understand how much of a miracle the Ground was to her. She saw the sadness that lay hidden in her heart at the memories of her old home and mentally kicked herself, damning her curiousity. _She's homesick. Of course she is. It may have been hell but it was still her home. A home that has died, taking far too many of her people with it. _Sympathy filled her, though she didn't show it, knowing all too well that Clarke would not welcome it if she did. Instead she chose to change the subject.

"So tell me, why exactly are we laying on the ground again?"

Clarke smiled, the saddness fading from her eyes. "WE are making glow angels."

"Glow... Angels..." Lexa said slowly. _Clarke, the Leader of the Sky People, is a strong and capable woman. Clarke the Person on the other hand, has clearly taken leave of her senses._

Clarke grinned. "You know, like snow angels, only without the snow and glowing in the dark. Hence the term, glow angels."

Lexa blinked once, very slowly. "Right..."

Clarke pouted a little. "Please?"

Lexa's heart fluttered at the look. _Stop that! _She scolded herself. _I am Lexa, Commander of twelve armies. I am feared and respected by thousands. Women and men desire me, children wish to become me. I am not going to fall for a simple pouty face. _She told herself firmly. _I will not! _She strengthened her resolve. "Commanders do not flail around on the ground like a temperamental child."

Clarke smiled at her. "But you're not the Commander, not with me, not tonight. You said so yourself. Tonight, you are just Lexa, and I am just Clarke. And _Clarke _has dreamed of the earth since she was very small. Of weather that changes and the fun to be had in every season. And snow... I've dreamed of what it must be like. I've always wanted to see it, to touch it, to go sledding, build snowmen, make angels, and have snowball fights. But with the way things are going... Well, this may be the closest I ever get. So please? Just this once?"

Lexa groaned, closing her eyes too late to dodge Clarke's emploring look. Her resolve crumbled, surrendering to the pout. She resigned herself to her fate, opening her eyes to the blonde. "...fine."

"Great!" Clarke cheered, sporting a Cheshire Cat grin.

Lexa blinked, realizing that she, commander of twelve armies, the admired one of thousands, had just been masterfully played. _Oh, she's good._

Clarke moved first, raising her arms and spreading her legs. She gave Lexa a playful look, laced with a hint of challenge.

Lexa sighed. _May as well get this humiliation over with. _Feeling a moments gratitude that none of her people were here to witness this, she began moving her limbs with the blonde.

"That's the spirit!" Clarke teased.

"I can not believe I am doing this." Lexa muttered, feeling foolish.

"It's fun!"

"It is childish."

This time Clarke was the one to sigh. "That's the point." She said, almost too quietly to hear.

Lexa paused. "This really is a dream for you, isn't it?"

Clarke nodded.

_And here I am being a royal ass about it. _She thought guiltily. Naveen nickered and Lexa glanced over at her. The picture she and Clarke had made glowed softly behind her, giving Lexa an idea. "Angels live in the heavens, right?"

Clarke nodded again, a curious gleam in her eyes.

Lexa stood, offering her hands to Clarke and pulling her to her feet. "Then let's give ours a place to call home."

She pulled Clarke closer to her, supporting her as she led her in circles around their angels. She murmured instructions, telling her when to trail a toe along the ground, to jump to the side, or to rely on Lexa's strength as she spun them around. They danced. The wind in the leaves their music, the drone of the insects their band, their own beating hearts thier drums.

She ended the dance at the pavilion. She led Clarke up the stone steps, and turned her so she could see their work. She smiled at Clarke's gasp, pleased with their work and the effect it was having on her.

Though they had not touched, their angels were holding hands, dancing much like they had been. Their footsteps glowed like the stars, the places where they had trailed their feet, galaxies. Constellations glowed where they had jumped, shooting stars clustered where they had twirled. She smiled, wrapping an arm around Clarke's waist. "Do you like it?"

Clarke smiled warmly at her. "I love it."

She watched the girl as her eyes looked over their creation, taking every detail and committing them to memory. And Lexa was glad, proud for being the cause of it.

"How long will it last?" Clarke asked.

"Only the night. They'll be gone come morning." Lexa turned, cupping Clarke's face gently. She looked in Clarke's eyes, trying to be kind even as she delivered what she feared would be a blow in her softest voice. "Just like this. You know this... Whatever this is between us, you know it can't last, right?"

Clarke flinched, a shuddered gasp passing her lips. She closed her eyes, shutting Lexa out as she tried to back away. Lexa held fast. "Clarke, look at me, please."

Clarke bit her lip, slowly looking up at Lexa. A single tear fell and Lexa tenderly brushed it away. "I said that it _can't _last, I didn't say that I dont want it to. But the way things are, it _can't._"

"Because we're still enemies right? Even here?" Lexa's heart ached at the broken edge she heard in that voice. She pulled the girl to her, kissing her with the passion she had only hinted at before. She felt Clarke stiffen against her, resisting her. She wrapped her arms around her in response, holding her with all the desperate caring of a warrior going to the fight. Gradually, she felt the girl relax, her heart singing as the lips began to respond, the fire Lexa knew she was capable of burning bright in her again. She broke the kiss, bringing their foreheads together.

"No Clarke. Never here, and certainly not now. But until you have something to offer, an alliance between our people will not be possible. Too much has happened between us for that. And without an alliance, this can never be."

Clarke's eyes closed. When they opened, she nodded, and the understanding Lexa saw in those orbs told her that it was safe to relax, the girl wasn't going to run away.

"We still have the rest of tonight?" Clarke asked tentatively.

Lexa nodded. "If you still wish to spend it with me."

Clarke smiled. "So what's next?"

Lexa grinned, smirking just a little bit. "Go Fish."

The look on Clarke's face was priceless.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: It's going to take a few months, but there will eventually be some artwork to go with this story. Links will be posted in my profile as they become available. Speaking of which, if any of you are curious about my plot bunnies for future fics, there's a brief summary of four of them there. :)

IlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlI

"What. The heck. Is that?" Clarke asked, looking at the _thing _swimming in the water.

"Koi." Lexa said absently, building a fire in what remained of a fireplace.

They were in the skeletal remains of a mansion. The roof and upper floors were gone, lost to the ravages of war and time, but parts of the walls on the main floor still remained. The floor had caved in at some point, revealing an underground river going through what had once been a basement. A river filled with an abundance of glowing orange and white _things, _which were definitely not fish in Clarke's book.

"No, _those _are koi. _Those _are something else." Clarke said, pointing at the water.

Finished with her task, Lexa came up beside her. "Nope, still koi."

"They don't look like koi."

"They're koi."

"They don't swim like the other koi."

"Still koi."

Clarke tilted her head. "They kinda look like mermaids."

"They're... Wait. What are mermaids?"

"You know, mermaids. Mythical creatures that look like gorgeous woman, only with fish tails instead of legs?"

Lexa looked at one of the creatures. "You think _that _resembles a beautiful woman?"

"Well... No, not really. But I mean, _look _at it!"

Lexa did.

The creature Clarke had pointed out swam past them close to the surface of the water. Its glowing body had the orange, black, and white patches that were common for its kind, but that was where the resemblance ended. Its long tail broke off into two narrow fins which trailed in the water behind it, each ending with a bone spike. The pectoral fins were also long, Arm like almost, ending in webbed hands tipped with sharp points of bone. The alleged koi turned over in the water, allowing them to briefly see its face. Black eyes looked up at them. The mouth opened revealing rows of sharp teeth before it rolled over again, turning to swim away from them.

Clarke looked at Lexa expectantly.

"It's still a koi."

Clarke sighed, giving up. "Compromise? They aren't mermaids, but they are most definitely _not _just koi. Mirkoi."

The mirkoi turned in the water, swimming straight towards them at an accelerated pace. Clarke watched it, curious about what it was going to do. She gasped when Lexa suddenly tackled her to the ground, the bone spike of the tail fin striking the air where she had been standing moments before. The spike dissappeared as the mirkoi swam away, disappearing in the swarm of glowing bodies below.

"What the heck was that?!" She blurted.

"Koi." Lexa said calmly. "Are you alright?"

Clarke looked up at her. _Stars, she's beautiful. _She wants nothing more than to kiss her in that moment, but her words from earlier stop her. _She said that this, whatever this is, cannot last. Not without an alliance. But what can I offer them? A lock of Anya's hair? Somehow I doubt that that's going to cut it. _She considered telling her about Mount Weather, the horror that awaited both their people there, but almost immediately discarded the notion. _We need this alliance, for both our people. But without an offering... _Something caught her eye, a hint of movement by the water. Instinctively she rolled, bringing Lexa with her as the bone spike returned, landing inches beside them.

She looked down at Lexa. "Fine. Are you alright?"

Clarke pretended not to notice when Lexa looked up at her a second longer than necessary, avoiding her attempt at making eye contact for fear that her resolve would break. She couldn't allow herself to kiss the woman. Not again. To kiss would be to allow herself to hope, and hope has never led to anything other than disappointment. And there would be disappointment. _Even if I can find a way to forge an alliance, Lexa is _the commander_, she could have a different woman in her bed every night if she chose to. Women who are strong, brave, beautiful... Women who have something to offer. Not like me. _She swallows back the bitterness invoked by her thoughts, being mindful not to let it show in her face as she waited for Lexa's answer.

Lexa appeared to give up on making eye contact. "I am well."

Clarke nodded. She stood up, offering her hand to Lexa, who accepted it. She pulled the woman to her feet, then looked over to the water. "I though koi were non aggressive?"

"They are now." Lexa told her, looking over at the water. "They are also meat eaters. Their skin is covered with a protective oil that acts as a hallucinogen when ingested, and those spikes are also covered. It's how they hunt. When an animal gets close to the water, they strike it with a barb and wait for the hallucinating animal to fall in. The animal drowns, and they eat. If one of them is eaten, the predator drowns and the rest of them get to eat. They are very efficient hunters."

Lexa's lips twitched in remembered amusement. "My friend was struck once. She spent nearly a candlemark swinging a stick at the grass. She said she was looking for rupees of all things."

"What are rupees?"

Lexa shook her head. "I have no idea."

Clarke, noticing how closely they were standing together, stepped back, feigning caution.

Lexa glanced back at her. "It's ok, we are out of range."

Clarke remembered one of her mothers favourite sayings. "It's better to be over cautious than over reckless." She glanced at the fire. "What's the fire for?"

Lexa smiled. "Cooking. The fully grown koi may be hallucinogenic, but the adolescents are delicious." She walked over to the wall, returning with a spear tied to a length of rope. "Watch yourself. They tend to throw back. You may want to stand by the wall... Their aim is quite good, considering."

Clarke heeded the advice, going to stand by the wall farthest from the fire. She watched in rapid interest as Lexa threw the spear, only to have it be caught in midair by one of the mirkoi and thrown back mid flip. They lobbed the spear back and forth, dodging, grabbing, and throwing, in the deadliest game of catch Clarke had ever seen. Finally, Lexa broke through their guard, spearing one of the smaller fish in their midst. Quickly she pulled on the line, bringing it to the surface before one of the gaping maws could steal their meal.

"That was awesome!" Clarke called, clapping her hands appreciatively.

Lexa smiled over her shoulder as she gathered the line into a neat loop over arm. She hoisted the spear, a two foot long fish hanging limply part way down it. She motioned for Clarke to follow her to the fire.

At her approach, Lexa removed the fish from the spear, allowing Clarke a better view of their meal. The fish was glowing dimly now, the glow fading away with the fishes life. Clarke estimated it to be on the edge of adulthood, the tail only just starting to split, the webbed hands still close to the body. Its bone spikes were only nubs, covered by a layer of skin.

Lexa glanced at her. "Do you know how to prepare it?"

Clarke shook her head.

"Then you will learn."

Lexa took out her dagger, showing Clarke how to efficiently remove the head, fins, and scales, without injuring herself. She removed the innards and bones then left briefly, returning with a couple of large leaves. She wrapped the meat in the leaves, then placed them in the fire to cook. She took the remains and disposed of them in the lake, stating that this was to give their thanks to nature for their meal.

"Are you sure you're not just rubbing it in?" Clarke teased.

"Well, there is that." Lexa acknowledged, a slight smirk playing at her lips.

She picked up a bucket and filled it with water from the lake, dodging the barbs of two of the mirkoi with ease. She brought it over to the fire and used the water to cleanse her hands. Shaking the water off, she sat in front of the fire and motioned for Clarke to join her.

She did so cautiously, leaving a respectful gap between them.

Lexa sighed. "Something is bothering you. Tell me."

Clarke hid a wince, not having realized that she had been that obvious. "Nothing."

Lexa glanced at her. "Speak true."

Clarke shifted uncomfortably. "Nothing is bothering me. Really."

The distance between them disappeared. Lexa had lunged, pushing Clarke onto her back and pinning her head between her arms, her legs between her own. Clarke had no option but to look in her eyes, soul laid bare once again. "Lexa... Don't."

"Don't shut me out. Not after I've waited so long to let someone in. _Please._"

Lexa's eyes pleaded with her, looking as if... _As if she were afraid of losing somebody precious. Like mom looked when dad said he was going to tell everyone about the air. But why? I'm nothing to her. _Doubt warred with the hope she had strived to suppress. _So why is she giving me that look? _

She scoffed at the thought born from her foolish hope, pushing it back ruthlessly. Laughing softly at herself, she looked through Lexa as she answered, uncaring about the bitterness in her voice. "What do you mean you waited so long?" She raised her hand, tucking a stray lock of brown hair behind Lexa's ear. "You're beautiful. You could have anyone, a different someone every night if you chose, so why would you wait for me? You barely know me and besides, _look_ at me. I'm nothing special, and I have nothing to offer. So why?"

Understanding flashed in Lexa's eyes. Her look turned thoughtful, her focus mercifully turning away from Clarke as it shifted inward.

Clarke waited, allowing Lexa time to gather her thoughts. Her hope an ever present pain in her chest she struggled to ignore.

The fire continued burning next to them, bathing them in its glow. Clarke noticed something, a hint of movement across the night sky, and looked just in time to see one of the mirkoi leap from the water and stab the bird with one of its spikes. A splash sounded mere heartbeats later, its fight over.

Fingers ghosted across her face, bringing her eyes to Lexa's gentle ones once more. "I don't know."

Clarke nodded, hope giving way to disappointment, as she had known it would. She started to rise. Lexa's weight stopped her. "Lexa..."

"Clarke, wait. Please?"

Clarke did not want to wait around to hear her out. She wanted to get up, leave, find somewhere to cry, fight, scream, hurt, lick her wounds in privacy and maybe find peace. To run away again or maybe this time ride away on Naveen. But those eyes... There they were with that damned look again, that compassionate look that had been her undoing in the tent just a few hours before. That look that says I care about you and your mask doesn't hide a thing. _Damn her eyes... _She wanted to run. She waited instead.

"I don't know why you are special to me. I barely know you, it's true. I only know that you are. As commander, I could have any woman I want, but I don't want any of them and I haven't in a very long time. It has been three seasons since my last relationship ended, and I have not wanted anyone since... Until you."

Hope rose back in her chest. She tried pushing it back, but she was quickly losing the willpower to fight it. "But I thought... After tonight..."

Sympathy mingled with regret in Lexa's eyes even as a gentle smile crossed her lips. "As things are now, yes. However." Her hands moved to cradle Clarke's face between them. "If there is one thing I've learned about you, from what I have seen with my own eyes and witnessed through my soldiers reports, it is this. You are strong, Clarke of the Sky People. When things are impossible, you shine bright and you find a way. I have no doubt that this will be any different."

"When you said that you wanted this to last, you meant it, didn't you?" Clarke asked, looking up at Lexa in wonder. "I admit, I didn't believe it. Not wholly. But you do. You really do."

Lexa's eyes searched hers. A thumb brushed over her lips. "The question is, do you?"

Did she? Lexa was a stranger. Was recently her captor. _She sees the me behind the mask, even when I fail to see myself. _She had introduced her to Naveen and taught her how to ride. She had taken her safely through the forest on a path of butterflies and crimson. She had drawn for her, and in doing so drew her out. Clarke had dragged her into making angels, but she was the one who made them dance in the heavens. _She gave me back my dreams, and makes me want to have them. _She made her feel hope, and belatedly Clarke realized she had lost the will to fight it. She smiled at Lexa and reached up to grab the woman by the back of her head, pulling her into a fiercely passionate kiss.

Breaking away, she brought Lexa's head to her own, a mirror of how Lexa had stood with her in the pavilion before. She smiled. "Does that answer your question?"

Lexa looked at her for a moment, then slowly smiled in return.

It was impossible. It was completely, hopelessly, totally, impossible. Clarke knew this. But beneath that knowledge was a new resolve backed by an infamous determination.

_I can do this. I _will _find a way._

IlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlI

Lexa used a forked tree branch to remove the wrapped fish from the fire. After allowing the four packages to cool for a while on the cold stone she unwrapped them, giving two to Clarke. "Eat. What little you ate in the cell must be long gone by now."

She saw the hesitation in Clarke's eyes. "Don't worry, fish looks and smells different from red meat. Try it and you'll see." She hastened to assure her.

Clarke still looked doubtful, but she nodded, taking the meat. Cautiously, she smelled it first. When this failed to make her ill, she took a tentative bite. Her eyes widened. Suddenly ravenous she started eating the meat like a starving dog, barely chewing one gulp before taking in the next.

Lexa found it to be grotesquely fascinating. Her manners were atrocious, but she couldn't look away. _She eats like it's the best thing she has ever eaten, and is afraid that something is going to take it from her. Or take her from it. _She remembered the conversation they had shared earlier about her home. And the food. _Perhaps this truly is the best she has eaten. And given her life here thus far, it is not surprising that she expects not to have time to finish a meal. _The knowledge humbled her.

Clarke finished her two pieces and Lexa offered her one more, which was gratefully accepted. Lexa ate the last piece slowly, contemplating Clarke. She had been worried when the blonde had started pulling away from her, fearing that she would lose the girl. That fear had made her acknowledge feelings that should not be felt. Not for an enemy. Not this soon. But there was something about her... Something that Lexa couldn't quite place, but it was there, drawing her to the blonde all the same.

_Grandmother would have called it the red string of fate. _She mused, remembering the woman. She had scoffed at the story of the matchmaking god back then, believing Yue Lao to be no more than a myth. _He _is _a myth. _She told herself. But she knew that had her grandmother lived to see her now, the woman would cackle, clap her hands, and do a silly little dance while gleefully saying that you never know. She smiled fondly, missing the old woman.

She looked back to Clarke, who had finished her meal and was now busy licking her fingers, and smiled for a different reason. She had been worried when Clarke had withdrawn, but she had had to fight not to show her joy when she had learned why. _She had doubted me and my intentions for her. But she had also withdrawn from me, not wanting to be mine for only a night. _This is what made Lexa want to smile now. _She could have allowed herself to be used and discarded, no strings attached, but she doesn't want that and neither do I. She deserves better. And she knows it. _The simple fact that Clarke felt she was worthy of more, even if she didn't know that was what it was, made her heart sing.

Blue eyes made contact with hers, searching. A sheepish grin spread across pink lips, an embarrassed blush tinting her fair cheeks as she realized how she must have looked. She rubbed her shoulder awkwardly. "Um... Thank you. For the fish I mean. It was good."

Lexa grinned. "When I taught you the manners of a horse, I did not expect you to start eating like one." She teased.

The blush spread further even as Clarke laughed at the joke. "Heh... Yeah. Sorry about that."

"It is ok. I am glad you enjoyed it." Lexa said sincerly.

Clarke smiled at her. She leaned back on her hands, looking at the sky. "It will be midnight soon." She mused. "Do we need to go back?"

"Soon." Lexa sighed, rising to her feet. She pulled Clarke to hers, allowing her time to settle her weight with an injured foot. "But not yet. There is one more place I want to show you. Do you think you're up for it?"

Clarke grinned. "I was hoping you would say that." She bent over and picked up the bucket of water, dousing the remains of their fire, steam filling the air as the fire hissed its death. She put the bucket back in its place and wrapped her arms around Lexa, kissing her softly. "So where to?"

_My bed if you keep that up. _She smiled, adjusting their pose so Clarke could lean on her as they walked instead. She hadn't said anything, but Lexa knew she must be hurting by now, and wanted to make it easier for her. "You'll see."


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Sorry this one took so long... In my defence, it was mostly written on Saturday, but then a weird glitch happened and several paragraphs got deleted. Rest assured, I _will _finish this fic. I'm not going to leave it hanging. Speaking of this fic... I've noticed lately that there are a few fics popping up both here and on Archive of Our Own that appear to be heavily influenced by this one. They are basicly rewrites of some of the scenes written here. I don't mind if I have inspired you to write something, in fact I think it's actually really awesome! But I do mind not being credited for it. Seriously, draw inspiration from a scene, or borrow a made up creature, character, or plant if you'd like. You have my blessing to do so. Just credit me for what comes from mine, please? :)

Kudos to those who recognized 8675309 and the Zelda reference. And sorry about all the fluff... The fluff bunny overlords have taken over this fic. lol

IlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlI

Lexa helped Clarke walk down a broken path to the left of the ruined mansion. It was slow going, partially due to Clarke's ankle, but primarily due to the path itself. It had been beautiful once. A path of circular stone discs lined with rose bushes and statues. Now the statues lay at regular intervals across the path, features unrecogniziable in the broken piles they had become. The rosebushes were overgrown, radiation making them grow several times their original size. The bushes were now as tall as trees, their blooms big enough to fill two hands. The roses glowed softly around them, the pink, yellow, white, and red blooms surrounding them with their sweet scent and giving them light to see.

Lexa cursed as they had to stop-_again-_so she could cut some of the path clear of the overgrowth. "It will be worth it. It WILL be worth it. It will be worth it..."

Clarke smiled at the mantra. "I could help?"

"Have you ever handled a sword before?"

"Nope."

"Then no. I've known you for... five candlemarks maybe? And in that time I've seen you fall off a horse twice. I'm not certain you are capable of handling a sword without harming yourself. Or me." She added.

Clarke was almost offended. Almost. But then Lexa glanced at her and she saw the playfulness in her smirk. She stuck out her tongue at her instead. "Oh come on, how hard can it be? Handle goes this way, pointy end goes that way. Easy."

Lexa rolled her eyes. "Ok first, it's called a hilt, not a handle. And second, no. I don't trust your co-ordination, and close quarters is not the ideal place for learning."

"Ok, fine." Clarke pouted. Lexa made another swing and Clarke pounced, knocking the blade from her hand and shoving her into the bushes before she could pick it up. She picked up the sword, grinning her victory at Lexa. "Ha ha!"

Lexa sighed. "What are you doing?"

"Proving I'm not as clumsy as you think I am." Clarke said, wagging the point of the sword at Lexa. "Oops."

Clarke had misestimated the swords length. Lexa's eye twitched as part of her armour fell to the ground, the buckles having been cut, leaving her shoulders and part of her cleavage exposed. "Clarke..."

"Sorry! That was an accident. Did I hurt you? Please tell me I didn't hurt you!" Clarke asked, panicking as her eyes scanned Lexa for any sign of injury.

"I am unhurt." Lexa assured, taking mercy on the blonde. "Now release my sword and unhook me from these infernal bushes!"

Fears eased, Clarke relaxed. "Oh good, I'm glad you're not hurt. Wait. You're stuck?" Clarke smirked as Lexa struggled, the bush holding fast. "I don't believe it. Lexa, the great and powerful Commander, has been beaten by a bush."

Lexa stopped struggling and glared up at her. "If you tell anyone about this, I will feed you to the koi. Got it?"

"Don't worry Oz, your secret's safe with me." Clarke said, rolling her eyes playfully.

Lexa frowned. "Oz?"

Clarke shook her head. "Don't worry about it. Now let's see..."

"Clarke? What are you doing? Clarke? Clarke!" Lexa's voice became more desperate as Clarke continued to inspect the path, ignoring her. "Stop thinking about what you are thinking, and put the sword down before you hurt yourself!"

"Will you relax already?" Clarke said, glancing over her shoulder. "Before I was imprisoned, I was training to become a surgeon. Co-ordination is my middle name. You have nothing to worry about. Ah, here looks good."

Lexa scanned the area where Clarke was looking. Her eyes widened as she saw the branch that the blonde had likely noticed, and also the exposed root which she probably hadn't. "Clarke, no, wait-"

Too late.

Clarke swung, miscompensated for the weight, and tripped over the root. The sword went flying through the air, landing a few feet on the path before her as the branch she had severed crashed down on top of her. "I'm ok!" She called.

Lexa waited for her to free herself from the branch and climb to her feet before she said it. "I told you so."

"Oh shut up." Clarke said, smiling sheepishly.

She walked back to Lexa and looked at the bush behind her. She blinked, startled to see that instead of thorns like she had seen in her picture books, these rosebushes were covered with hundreds of tiny twig-like hands, many of which were now grasping onto Lexa's hair and clothing. "Huh."

"Today would be nice. Preferably before sunrise. We are safe enough at night, but when the sun wakes them up they will quickly drain us dry."

"What do you mean?" Clarke asked, trying to break their grip one branch at a time.

"Oh, did I not mention it? These bushes are bloodsuckers. They're relatively harmless at night, but when morning comes and they awaken, they close around their prey. The fingers lengthen, break through their victims skin and drain them of all the moisture in their bodies." She nodded towards the ground. "Look."

Clarke looked. She hadn't noticed it before, but the ground beneath the bushes and behind Lexa's feet was littered with bones, some of which she recognized as human. She shuddered. "Oh."

She resumed tugging at the branches, but while those hands were small in size collectively they were strong. Every time she got part of Lexa free, more hands moved to take over the freed space. She huffed her frustration. "Ok, new plan."

She moved to Lexa's front, a blush tinting her cheeks as she got an excellent view of exactly how much cleavage she had exposed. "I... um, need this..." She stammered, trying not to look, as she grasped the hilt of Lexa's dagger and freed it from the sheath.

Lexa noticed her struggle. Amusement gleamed in her eyes as she fought to keep her face neutral. She couldn't resist teasing the blonde. Just a little. "My eyes are up here Clarke."

Clarke's face burned. She stammered out a frantic apology, closing her eyes firmly shut as she backed away from Lexa, stopping only after tripping over a loose stone and falling on her butt. "Oof!"

Lexa couldn't hold it back. She laughed, bending over as much as the bush would allow as she howled, her eyes watering from the strength of her mirth.

"Oh haha, very funny." Clarke grumbled.

"The look... On your face..." Lexa wheezed.

Clarke smiled slightly, shaking her head at the woman's antics. She returned to her feet with more ease than she had previously and walked back to Lexa, an idea tempting her mind. _So you want to play do you? _She steeped into Lexa's personal space, almost pressing against the woman as she looked to the branches behind her, giving Lexa the impression that she was going to cut her loose.

She paused. Turning her head, she whispered in Lexa's ear. "You know... I don't believe I will free you. I kinda like you like this. Still." She pulled back, trailing a hand down Lexa's face, her neck, across her collarbone, then down further to toy with the edge of her torn shirt, just over her breasts. _"Helpless." _She said the word seductively, a promise in place of a threat.

Lexa swallowed. She had stopped laughing the moment Clarke had invaded her space. "Clarke..." The warning did nothing to hide the catch in her voice, the breathless want in her tone. By the look in her eyes, she knew it.

Clarke looked in Lexa's eyes, seeing, perhaps for the first time, a glimpse of the woman's soul there. How vulnerable the girl was behind her mask of strength. How desperate she was to be able to let go of that mask, and lean on the strength of another. In that moment Lexa's eyes were the mirror of Clarke's own self, and suddenly she understood. _She needs this. _She recognized that need, for it was the same as her own. Empathy shot through her on the heels of the realization, Lexa's need mirroring her own._This is more to her than want, or payment for a debt. _The dagger fell from her hand, landing point down in the ground beside them.

"What happened to hurt you so, that all you want is to be free?"

The moment shattered. Shutters slammed down in Lexa's eyes, shutting her out. Lexa glared at her from the roses. "Cut me free. Now."

The words were angry, an order from a leader that expected to be obeyed.

But there were no leaders here.

Clarke shook her head. "No."

"Clarke!"

Clarke saw her anger, but also knew the desperation behind it. The need to run, to hide, to lick at invisible wounds. To be alone and fight against impossible hopes, to hurt at their passing, to summon walls to keep them back and build up a mask of strength so as to never be hurt again.

She knew that mask. Had once worn it herself.

It was a lie.

It had crumbled and fallen apart at the feet of the woman whose eyes glared at her so angrily now. A woman who now felt her own mask beginning to crumble, who wanted to hate Clarke while also wanting her to set her free.

Clarke knew all this, because those eyes had once been her own.

She grasped Lexa's jaw, looking into her eyes with the same compassion that had once been her undoing. She pulled her in for a forceful kiss, trailing the hand at her breasts down to her waist, pulling her flush against her.

Lexa resisted, fighting her hold.

Clarke clucked her disproval, fighting against that resistance with tender kisses along her jawline, hand slipping under armour to caress the bare skin at Lexa's hip.

"Clarke..." Lexa breathed, breathless under the familiar assault. "Don't."

"Don't lock me out." Clarke murmured, kissing her deeply once again.

Lexa shut her eyes, tilting her head up to break the kiss. "Please... I can't. Not this. Not yet."

Clarke understood. Some wounds heal in minutes, days, weeks, or even months. Others take years, and even then they may never go away. Whatever had happened to Lexa was clearly in the latter category, and if she wasn't ready to talk about it, Clarke wasn't going to force her. _But that doesn't mean she has to bear the burden alone._

"Shh..." Clarke breathed, lips brushing along Lexa's skin, ending in the barest caress across her lips. "It's ok. You don't have to talk about it. You don't have to say anything at all if you don't want to. Just don't shut me out. Let me be here."

_Let me be your strength as you have become mine._

The thought was not spoken. It didn't need to be.

Lexa understood. Closing her eyes once again, she nodded.

Clarke smiled. "Good."

She stepped back, breaking free of the few hands that had managed to grab hold of her, and bent down to retrieve the dagger. Cutting Lexa free was much easier than attempting to break the branches by hand had been and soon, Lexa was able to step away from the bloodsucking rose bushes. She helped Lexa pull the last of the stubborn hands from her hair as they stepped back onto the relative safety of the path.

Lexa retrieved her dagger, resheathing it as she approached her sword. "Clarke."

Clarke looked up from the branch she had just begun dragging off the path. "Yes?"

Lexa glanced over her shoulder. "Next time you have me bound and helpless, I expect much more than a simple kiss."

Clarke's jaw dropped, a furious blush spreading across her face at the implication. "Um."

"I also expect to be naked." She said as she passed Clarke, continuing to clear the path ahead.

Heat pooled in a different part of her body, the image of Lexa, bound, naked, and wanting only for her painting itself in her mind. "Um."

Lexa's laughter resounded around her, snapping her out of her trance. She dropped the branch, quickly straightening from her hunched over position to hurriedly limp after her, glaring at her in mock reproach as she caught up. "That was mean."

Lexa smirked. "Payback for being a tease."

"I'm a tease?" Clarke's eyebrows rose. She cast a significant glance at Lexa's bosom, which the now freed woman had done nothing to cover. "And what do you call that, oh foul temptress?"

Lexa smiled. "A promise for more later, if you're good."

Clarke's mouth went dry. "Um."

Lexa chuckled, deciding to stop teasing the blonde. She wrapped her arm back around Clarke's waist, lending her support once again as they continued to walk down the path. "Thank you."

Clarke glanced at Lexa, smiling in response.

One day, maybe Lexa will tell her the truth. Until then, this would have to be enough.

IlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlI

The path opened into a small clearing. A stone bench faced the remains of a ruined stone fountain, it's carvings made unrecognizable by time. Fallen roses and decayed leaves floated in it's water, rain having replaced what time had stolen. More crumbled statues lay in piles around the edges of the clearing, three spaced evenly apart on each side. All the stone here had been stained green by generations of leaf rot, creating a different sort of beauty than the glowing stones of the courtyard before.

Glowing rose buds surrounded the clearing, the ring ending on either side of what had once been a gate. The gate led to their destination, but seeing the roses that were not yet ready to open had given Lexa an idea. She grinned, slipping away from Clarke as she moved closer to the bushes. Silently, careful not to be caught by the hands again, she gathered an armful of the rosebuds.

"Hey!" Clarke yelped when the first of the rosebuds, a glowing yellow, hit her right in the centre of the back. She spun around, just in time to catch the next one, pink, in the face.

Lexa laughed, pelting Clarke with more rosebuds as she ran around her.

"This means war!" Clarke yelled, limping over to the bushes to get her own projectiles as Lexa stopped to reload.

They played much like children in the snow, dodging around the fountain, climbing over the bench, anything to strike the other and avoid getting hit in turn.

"Ha!" Clarke yelled in victory, successfully thowing what was certain to be a direct hit.

Lexa grinned, catching the white bud from the air and throwing it back, hitting Clarke on the hip.

"Hey, no throwbacks!" Clarke protested, laughing as she plucked a glowing red from the ground to throw at Lexa.

Lexa dodged with ease, grinning as she scooped up a pink bud to throw at Clarke.

Clarke tried to dodge, but yelped as the move put her weight on her injured ankle at a bad angle. She fell to one knee, hissing slightly.

Lexa ran over to her, dropping her glowing ammo on the way. "Are you hurt? Do you need to be taken to a healer?" She asked, truly fearful that her impromptu rose bud fight had led the blonde to further injury. She knelt down next to Clarke, fully prepared to lift the blonde and carry her to Naveen on her back if need be, when it happened.

Clarke smirked up at her, and only then did she see it. The red bud glowing softly in her hand, and the generous pile beside her. "Gotcha."

The red hit her directly above her chest, falling back to land in her lap. The next quickly followed, and the next, each hitting their target as Lexa lunged to her feet, trying to get some distance between her and the cheating blonde. Bud after bud impacted her body, mostly focused on her rear as she fled. She circled around the clearing, Clarke turning to follow and continue her barrage. _How long did she plan this? _Lexa wondered, raising an arm to block a headshot as she ran. She jumped over a pile of stone that had probably been a statue once and turned, making a beeline towards the fountain. She ducked behind it, the barrage ceasing as she used it to finally escape the blonde.

"Come out here and face me like a man you coward!" Clarke challenged.

Lexa grinned, peeking around the statue briefly only to duck behind it again, a yellow projectile flying past her. "No! You cheat!"

"It's not cheating, it's using available resources to level the odds in my favour." Clarke paused, then added. "Besides, I'm injured. You have an advantage."

_Point. _Lexa acknowledged, though she'd rather have her blood drained by the bushes thorny hands than admit it. She looked around, noting to her dismay that the bushes in the safe zone were fairly bare. She chanced another quick glimpse, this time getting hit in the face with a white blur for her trouble. She scowled as she ducked back behind the statue, ignoring Clarke's laughter as she pondered her options.

Clarke still had quite a few buds around her, and more on the bushes close to her on her side of the clearing. Lexa had a scarce handful of buds left on her bushes, and only a few lay scattered on the ground where she could safely reach them. _It appears that my choices are to either commit suicide, or surrender. _She grinned, reaching for the white bud that had so recently struck her. _No choice at all really. _

"Surrender!" The blonde demanded.

"You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept."

"Ha! Give up Lexa! There's no way you can turn this around. Surrender, and I shall show you mercy. Fight, and face my wrath!" Clarke taunted.

Lexa snorted, chuckling at the mockery of a threat. She jumped out from behind the statue, throwing her meager armload of projectiles at Clarke as she charged. "Never!"

Clarke yelped, instinctively shielding her face before gathering her ammo to fight back, throwing double fistfuls of rose buds at Lexa as she approached. They ran out of ammo at the same time, their last buds impacting in midair to fall uselessly between them.

Lexa uttered a wordless cry as she tackled the blonde, Clarke spreading her arms to catch her moments before impact. They fell to the ground together, Clarke cushioning Lexa with her body, and Lexa cushioning Clarke in turn, protecting her head and shoulders with hands and arms. They grinned at each other, eyes twinkling from the fun they had had.

"That. Was awesome." Clarke said, looking in Lexa's eyes.

Lexa smiled, loving the joy she saw in the cornflower depths. "I admit, that was more fun than I have had in a very long time."

Clarke returned the smile. "Same here." She tilted her head. "Was this what you wanted to show me? I love it, but I find your estimation of danger to be highly exaggerated." Her tone gained a teasing lilt. "I'm not _that _clumsy you know."

Lexa laughed a little, shaking her head slightly as she replied. "No, this was just a detour. What I really wanted to show you, is through there."

She pointed at the gap in the rose bushes, Clarke's eyes following the motion.

"And the danger is hardly exaggerated." She said sombrely. "We could easily die in there Clarke, with nothing to be found of us save our bones come morning. Possibly not even that. There's a reason I didn't tie Naveen when we left her. She can be trusted to wait, but she can also find her way back should we not return."

She had Clarke's full attention now. She searched Clarke's eyes, looking for any sign of doubt, or any hint that the blonde still believed her to be exaggerating. She saw none and felt a moments satisfaction, knowing the sky girl was taking her seriously. _Good. That will make surviving this easier. _Technically, it was possible that they could pass the gate and return without incident, but it was highly unlikely. _Better to be safe. _Safe would be not going at all, her practical side argued. _Nothing about this night has been practical. Why start now?_

"Do you trust me? I will not think less of you if you don't." Lexa said, offering Clarke an out.

"Hmmm..." Clarke said, giving Lexa a contemplative look. "Depends. If I say yes, do I get the sword?"

If they weren't already on the ground, Lexa would have fallen over. She settled for palming her face instead. "No."

"The dagger?" Clarke asked hopefully.

"No!"

"Please?" Clarke asked, her trembling lower lip threatening a pout.

_No, not that! Anything but that. No... No. Nooo ah drat. _Lexa groaned, repeatedly smacking her forehead as the pout fully formed on Clarke's lips. "...fine. You can hold the dagger. In the sheath. On your waist. But no sword!"

Clarke smirked in triumph. "Fair enough. Shall we go then?"

Lexa sighed, exasperated by the one who held her affections. She rose, pulling Clarke to her feet with her. She offered Clarke her arm and motioned to the gate, stepping forward so they could walk through together.

"As you wish."


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Sorry... Life kinda happened. And is still happening. Sorry if this chapter feels rushed, the app I had saved it in keeps crashing on me so it had to be re-written. Then I forgot to save while rewriting and some parts had to be written AGAIN on top of that, then edited here because my current app doesn't allow for italics. But it's here! At long last, it's here. The fantasy of fluff continues. :D

_"Get down!"_

_Lexa ducked and rolled to the side, narrowly avoiding the purple tinted darts spat from a flower. She looked over at Costia from all fours, quirking an eyebrow._

_"Sorry for that." Costia said, grimacing as she wound a slender rope around the petals of the struggling plant._

_Lexa shook her head, climbing back to her feet. She gathered the darts, wrapping them with a length of cloth before adding the bundle to her satchel. She approached Costia, examining the deadly plant currently being prepped for transplant by her lover. "A Spitter?"_

_Costia finished tying the last knot, making it impossible for the bulb to open, and proceeded to wrap layers of cloth around its stem. "The darts are filled with venom, one drop and you'll eventually be dead. The leaves are the antidote. The stem fights fever, the seeds soothe the stomach, and the flower is useful for dyes and perfumes. It's a very useful plant!"_

_Lexa looked at the Spitter with extreme distaste. For all its usefulness, the plant was extremely ugly. The thorn covered stem and leaves were a ghastly blue, the flower itself the yellow of a sick mans snot, with red blotches that reminded Lexa of an infected wound. The plant fought like a wild animal, wriggling against its restraints as Costia continued making it safe for transport. She shook her head. "Is this garden going to have any plants that won't try to kill you?"_

_Costias lips quirked in a smile. "Probably not."_

They walked through the gateway together, the gate itself having fallen from rusty hinges long ago. It had sunken into the ground, becoming almost level with the earth beneath their feet. Clarke paid it little mind, barely noticing through the feeling of childlike wonder that filled her, the long forgotten excitement of discovering something new. They passed through an archway of grey brick; alcoves had been built into either side, each just big enough for the ornate candleholders that had been left within them. Then they were there, and they stopped, each wanting a moment to take in the view.

They were standing at the edge of a large field. Walls, the same grey brick of the archway, lined the field to either side of them, extending out of their sight without turning. Shadowed outlines of trees were evenly spaced along the wall, turning the grey into eerie pieces of art in the dark. Structures rose against the darkness ahead, glowing vines lending vague hints of their shape. A cobblestone path glowed with the blues of twilight to their right, ending in a circle with the shadowed outline of benches surrounding an angel statue in its midst.

Clarke, wanting to take a closer look at the first intact statue she had seen since coming here, went to step onto the path only to be stopped by Lexa.

"Wait."

Clarke looked around, trying to see what had alerted Lexa to danger. Not seeing anything that looked even remotely menacing, she glanced at Lexa. "What is it?"

In response Lexa drew her sword. "Not everything is as it appears to be. Watch."

She knelt, keeping off the path as she lay the blade over top it.

The cobblestones moved, rising up to cover the blade completely in a wave of clicking bodies before sliding off of it, rearranging themselves to form a path once again.

Clarke blinked. "Oh."

Lexa rose, sheathing the sword. "The beetles may look harmless, but in a swarm they will kill you in minutes, and devour your remains in three days."

Close call. Sweat prickled along her skin, the realization of just how close she had come to death giving her chills. She rubbed her arms, trying to chase the chill away. "Thank you. I know you said this place was dangerous, but I didn't think... I'm sorry for being so careless."

"You didn't know." Lexa assured, looking at her with some concern. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, just... What is this place? Is there anything else I should look out for?"

Lexa looked over the field. "I'm not sure, but I think this place used to be a private zoo. My friend turned it into a secret garden. She was a healer as well as a warrior, so she used this place to cultivate some of the more dangerous plants that are useful for both weapons and medicine. Do not allow any of the plants here to touch you... And watch out for Spitters, large yellow flower with red blotches, they spit poison barbs. I had not planned on bringing you here, so I have no antidote should you be poisoned."

Clarke swallowed. "Anything else?"

Lexa thought for a moment, trying to remember all the dangers that resided in what had once been her favourite place. She frowned slightly, pointing to a spot on the ground. "Stay on the path. Some parts of the ground are unstable, and I have not been here to check the markers in some time. It's possible that they have been moved. Don't walk under or touch any vines, they are a simular breed to the rosebushes and will strangle any living thing they touch."

Clarke squinted at the dirt where Lexa had pointed. "There's a path there?" She said doubtfully.

"Of a sort. It used to be much more visible, but it hasn't been maintained in a long time. If you look closely you can see what's left of it... Look for the places the grass doesn't grow."

Clarke looked again. This time she could see the narrow trail, a path of darkness winding through the faintly glowing green.

Lexa offered her hand and wordlessly led her down the dark trail. Trusting to Lexa's lead, Clarke looked around. Twilight had given way to full darkness, the moon lighting their way from a bed of stars above. She had seen it before, both on the ground and during stolen moments in space, but here with Lexa it was different. Her spirit felt lighter. Free.

They reached a spot where the path broke off into three directions, two following a wall of faintly glowing bushes and one going through them, and continued walking straight. Lexa explained briefly that the other two paths were really one long one that circled the whole garden, and their destination was in the middle. The bushes looked harmless and for a moment Clarke felt the irrational urge to reach out and brush her fingers along the leaves. Then she remembered the bugs and thought better of it. Looks were deceiving in this place. Moments later she was glad not to have touched, seeing one of the darkly glowing red vines Lexa had warned her of growing along the branches.

The path opened into a clearing. Decorative boulders lay hidden amongst the tall grass, the path cutting a narrow trail through it. Bushes, heavily laden with berries glowing in toxic red and violet hues, grew in tastefully placed locations. A large oak tree, leaves glowing silver in the moonlight, stood in the distance. Lexa led her down the path, pulling Clarke along behind her. The grass brushed against Clarke's waist as she limped along, trying to keep up. They broke through the grass, the path widening only to end before them. Lexa stopped after a few feet and pulled her forward to stand next to her, though she continued to hold Clarke's hand.

They stood at the edge of a man made pond. Pink lilies glowed softly on the surface of the crystal clear waters. The depths were alight from within, the sand and rocks along the bottom seemingly glowing from their own steady light. Seaweed, black against the grey, grew from stone pots along the sand in the water. The oak tree grew at the waters edge, about twenty paces to their left.

"Lexa... This is.. This is beautiful." Clarke breathed. "Thank you."

"You could swim here, if you wanted. The water is safe, and the weeds keep the water pure enough to drink." Lexa said softly. "You'd need to stay away from the weeds if you did though. Tangleweeds are good for infection, pain relief, and fever, but they will wrap themselves around you and drown you if you get too close."

Clarke shuddered slightly. "Is there anything here that won't try to kill me?"

Lexa smirked. "Probably not. She didn't want to grow anything that would harm a child near our village, so she grew them here instead." She waved her arm across the surface, indicating the glowing plants grouped together at various points around the pond. "She used the old cages to house them, where they would be protected from predators."

Clarke sent her a skeptical glance. "Predators?"

"You'd be surprised." Lexa said dryly. "Would you like to see? The gardens are overgrown by now, though we should be safe enough by the water."

Truthfully Clarke found the offer as tempting as a dip in the mud, and her ankle was throbbing. But if Lexa was willing to teach her, the potential of the knowledge helping her people was huge. She bit at her lip, unconsciously lifting her injured foot as she debated.

Lexa noticed and instantly understood. She leaned close to Clarke, releasing her hand to wrap an arm around her waist instead. An idea came to mind and she reached into a pocket, pulling out a small pair of binoculars. "Here, use these. Look."

She pointed at the first glowing patch off to their right. Clarke lifted the binoculars and could see a multitude of mushrooms growing within the cage. There were a variety of sizes, from as small as a clenched fist, to big enough to be a chair. The largest grew in the middle and was the size of a table. At first, Clarke thought they glowed different colours because they were different types, but then she realized that the colours where changing, each one changing to a different colour than its neighbours in a random pattern. "Gloshrooms. They release a spore when hit that-depending on the age of the plant-will either paralyze you or kill you if inhaled. The small ones that don't glow are safe to eat, the ones that do glow but do not yet release spores work as a powerful laxative when made into a tea..."

They stood there like that, huddled together, for a good while. Lexa teaching, Clarke gazing, listening to her steady voice and gaining a new understanding for her world. Occasionally she would ask a question, but for the most part she listened, content to learn. New knowledge wrapped her mind like a memory of loving arms, seeping into the cracks and soaking in to every pore._ I had forgotten this._ She realized. _Before the ground, before even solitary. I forgot how incredible it feels to learn. How could I have lost that?_

Lexa continued around the circle describing each plant in turn. The Heartichokes that, if disturbed, would rapidly climb a victims body with grasping roots to inject venom directly in the heart. Yet as risky as it was to harvest, it also offered life with its seeds which were high in sugar, and when dried created a powder which thinned blood. She described plants that could cure disease in the hands of a skilled healer, or kill an army if used as an asassins tool.

Clarke listened as Lexa went into more depth on the Spitters, though she did not look at them for long. The plants were truly ugly, and the ghastly combination of colours made her feel queasy. The next plant, called Dragonsbreath, had the opposite effect. It was fascinating. Looking a bit like a cloud at first glance, the tangle of vines was constantly in motion, excreting a steady mist as it moved. It was like watching a dragon weaving its way through the clouds...

Lexa's arm tightened around her waist and she came back to herself with a gasp, realizing quickly that she had been moments away from stepping into the water. She looked at Lexa, confused.

"Dragonsbreath has a hypnotic effect if you look at it long enough. It also goes by the name of Sirenslure, as the wind creates a sweet, soft, song when it passes through it. It lures humans and animals close with its song and movement, then entangles them in its vines and eats them." Lexa explained. "Despite this, most villages will gladly trade their most highly valued supplies to possess one of them. They are a rare find, and few know how to harvest them safely. They are also worth it. The mist helps the sick to breathe, muscles to relax, calms the stomache, clears the sinuses, and eases pain."

"Do you know how to harvest them?" Clarke asked, impressed.

Lexa shook her head. "No. She died before she could teach me."

Clarke's expression softened. "I'm sorry. I can tell you were close."

Lexa didn't seem to hear her, her attention was focused on the path behind them. She whirled around, bringing Clarke with her.

"What is it?" Clarke asked, voice barely louder than a whisper.

Lexa looked at her, briefly raising a finger to her lips before focusing back on the path. Clarke concentrated with her. This time she heard it too, a rustling noise as something large walked through the bushes towards them. Lexa gestured towards the tree and Clarke nodded, following her lead. They pushed through the grass, Clarke bit back a curse as she found a rock with her knee, and Lexa stumbled when she tripped over what might once have been a swing as they reached the tree. Silver acorns littered the ground around the trunk, and glittered in the branches overhead. They ducked around the tree, keeping the thick trunk between them and the path. The rustling grew louder as whatever creature it was drew nearer, until it stopped, only to be replaced with what sounded a lot like the soft clopping of hoof beats.

Clarke gave Lexa a puzzled glance. "Is that Naveen?" She asked, silently mouthing the question.

Lexa shook her head negatively.

The hoof beats stopped at the water, followed soon after by the sound of an animal drinking. Lexa motioned for Clarke to remain where she was and moved to peek around the tree. She then turned and motioned for Clarke to join her. Her finger again signalled for silence, but her eyes gave away her excitement.

Curiosity peaked, Clarke stepped up beside her and leaned forward to peek around the tree. _What... _her eyes wide from shock, she forgot Lexa's warning for silence and immediately blurted the first thought that came out, her mind refusing to accept what she was seeing. "But that's..."

Lexa's hand around her mouth silenced her. She stepped back, Clarke's back against her front, and angled their bodies so they could see while still remaining hidden. She gave Clarke a warning look and slowly lowered her hand, ready to raise it again should the blonde speak too loud.

"That's impossible." Clarke whispered.

"Not all mutations are hideous Clarke." Lexa said softly.

The horse was a picture of legend. Its white coat gleamed under the moonlight. Moonbeams shone through its long tail and main as it drank its fill from the pond, not having noticed their presence. It pawed at the earth with a fore hoof, moonlight making the hoof appear silver in the dark. As beautiful as it was, it was not the beauty of the creature alone that had Clarke stunned. It was the long horn growing from the centre of its forehead that had the honour.

"Unicorn." She whispered, awed by the sight.

Lexa shook her head. "No. It's only a horse. A beautiful, mutated, horse. Don't claim a myth that is not. It does no good, and much harm."

"It's beautiful."

"Yes, it is."

They stood there together, close enough to be lovers yet not quite touching, watching the beautiful horse drink its fill. And as it finished and turned back down the path it came, they stood staring until it was long out of sight.

Clarke sighed, breaking the spell. "We should go back."

Lexa nodded.

Neither of them moved.

"We should really get back." Clarke started to pull away, and after a moments hesitation Lexa moved with her, supporting her weight with a casual grace, _as though she was where she belonged_. Clarke mused.

They walked back to the path along the waters edge in silence, each taking a moment to simply be and savour the time they had left together.

Clarke stopped at the edge of the path, giving the pond a thoughtful look. "It's really safe to drink?"

Lexa nodded.

Clarke knelt down, feeling Lexa release her waist as she did so. She washed her hands in the cool water and cupped them, bringing them to her lips to taste. Her eyes closed involuntarily as the sweet liquid soothed her throat. "Oh, that is good." She murmured appreciatively.

She dipped her hands in again, intending to drink some more, when something brushed her wrist. Strange, I don't remember seeing any fish... She turned to Lexa to ask if there were any, when that something brushed her wrist again, tightening around it and yanking her into the water.

The weeds had pulled her under. They were surrounding her, wrapping her arms and legs and squeezing her torso faster than she could react. She struggled, caught in the panic of not enough oxygen and not enough time. Dimly, she thought she could hear a splash as she saw Lexa's knife floating down to the sand beneath her, and had the bizarre notion that it was the knife that made the sound. The weeds tightened around her further and she grimaced, a large bubble of air leaving her lungs despite her efforts to keep it in.

She felt the water move as something rushed past her from above and she tilted her head up to see Lexa diving down to the bottom of the pool, retrieving her dagger. A strange feeling of euphoria began to seep into Clarke, a peaceful tiredness that was making her want to cease her struggle, to just let go and sleep. She fought it, recognizing it for what it was.

She watched as Lexa swam over to the potted plant and started hacking at the weeds. The knife was sharp and cut them cleanly, but there was a lot to cut through and Clarke hadn't had time for breath when she was dragged in. She continued to hold her breath, but her eyes wanted to close, and with each blink it became harder to keep them open. As Lexa cut through the last of the weeds, she gave up the fight, letting her eyes stay closed and the world fade away, concentrating only on holding her last breath.

Dimly, she felt the weeds release their grip and fall away and sensed that she was free, floating, but was too focused on holding her breath to care. She felt something grab her torso and vaguely thought it may be another weed, but she was too tired to fight. Instead, as she felt that something tighten its grip and sensed more than felt the water rushing past her, she let go, unable to hold her breath anymore.

The last of her air passed her lips moments before they broke the surface, the cool air rousing her. Ancient instincts forced her to breath, and through her gasping she realized that it was an arm that held her, not a weed, and she clung to it in desperation as she was pulled to shore.

She refused to let go as they scrambled back onto dry land, and even after, she continued to cling, curling into Lexa and continuing to hold her arm like a lifeline, gasping and panicking, caught in the overwhelming fear that she was still in the water, still dying and still helpless...

"Shh... It's alright. You're safe." Lexa soothed. "It's alright..."

They lay there for a long time. Clarke breathed heavily, almost calming down before a new wave of panic would rise, starting the cycle again. Lexa continued to chant, holding Clarke close enough that they could feel each others hearts beat. Gradually, Clarke's breathing eased, and as the gasping turned to shuddering, her heart stopped racing, and she sighed, easing her death grip on Lexa and relaxing against her instead.

"Thank you." Clarke said softly.

"I told you I wouldn't let death be your release." Lexa's lips quirked fondly as she glanced down at Clarke. "Though I do wish you'd stop courting it."

Clarke chuckled, glancing up at Lexa. "I never would have pegged you as the jealous type."

Lexa's expression softened. "For you? Always."

Butterflies swirled in Clarke's body and spread out over her skin in a warm flush at receiving that look. _Not fair._ She thought, fighting a pout as she looked away. Her gaze fell upon the oak tree across the pond. _It's so beautiful... _She froze. "Shit."

Lexa turned her head to see where Clarke was looking. "What is it?"

"The oak tree."

"Yes it's... Oh." Lexa's tone changed as she recognized the danger they were in.

"Do you know where we are? Are we safe here?" Clarke asked urgentVly, pushing off of Lexa and standing so Lexa could gain her bearings.

Lexa rose, looking around, and tried to calculate where they were from the angle of the tree. "I think..."

They both froze as they heard a slight rustling noise nearby.

"Dragonsbreath?" Clarke guessed.

Lexa shook her head minutely. "No, we're not far enough over. We should swim back..."

Her sentence trailed off as Clarke shook her head. "No lakes in space remember? I really can't swim. And dodging killer weeds while hiding from who knows what in the dark is a bad time to learn."

"Sounds to me like the perfect time to learn." Lexa smirked.

"Lexa, no... Watch out!" Clarke warned, only now seeing the sickly yellow flowers opening in the cage behind her. She grabbed Lexa's hand and ran, away from the pond as the Spitters opened fire.

"Watch out for their vines! If they're close enough to hit us, they're close enough to grab us!" Lexa warned, jumping over one of the writhing shadows as they ran.

They reached a wall of bushes and froze, red vines twisting in the branches before them.

"Not this way." Clarke gasped.

"Agreed."

They heard a series of soft thuds behind them, and turned in time to see one of the writhing shadow vines straining to reach them, inches from their toes.

"It appears that we are out of range." Lexa said.

"So what do we do now?"

Lexa looked around, and grimaced. "We go back, and you learn how to swim."

Clarke gave her an incredulous look. "You can't be serious."

"Look around Clarke. It's a dead end. Either we take our chances with the strangle vines, or we go back."

Clarke cursed, looking around. "So our choices are, strangulation, or poison and drowning by strangulation. No thanks. Let's look around, maybe we can find a path."

"This is a bad idea Clarke." Lexa warned as she followed her. "The paths have not been maintained in years, the markers are gone, and this area is known for its caves..."

"Don't be silly... Who would build a private zoo over a cave?"

In hindsight, she should have known better. Never challenge the powers of worse. She took Lexa's hand and stepped forward under the shadow of the overgrowth, fully expecting there to be nothing but solid ground beneath her. Finding nothing but air she fell, taking Lexa down with her, crying out as they left the grass and stars and fell into the darkness below.


End file.
